On the Seder night there is a special mitzvah to talk about the story of the Exodus from Egypt (Exodus 13:8). ... However, we are commanded to mention the Exodus every day - so what is so special about retelling the story of the Exodus on the Seder night?
There are a number of unique elements in retelling the story of the Exodus on the Seder night. One should tell it in the form of questions and answers (and it is important to include children, addressing them on their appropriate level). One should talk about the entire process and not only about the end result, how we left Egypt...
From the Rimon Haggadah
בָּרוּךְ הַמָּקוֹם, בָּרוּךְ הוּא, בָּרוּךְ שֶׁנָּתַן תּוֹרָה לְעַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל, בָּרוּךְ הוּא. כְּנֶגֶד אַרְבָּעָה בָנִים דִּבְּרָה תוֹרָה: אֶחָד חָכָם, וְאֶחָד רָשָׁע, וְאֶחָד תָּם, וְאֶחָד שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ לִשְׁאוֹל.
Blessed is the Place [of all], Blessed is He; Blessed is the One who Gave the Torah to His people Israel, Blessed is He. Corresponding to four sons did the Torah speak; one [who is] wise, one [who is] evil, one who is innocent and one who doesn't know to ask.
חָכָם מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מָה הָעֵדוֹת וְהַחֻקִּים וְהַמִּשְׁפָּטִים אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ אֶתְכֶם. וְאַף אַתָּה אֱמוֹר לוֹ כְּהִלְכוֹת הַפֶּסַח: אֵין מַפְטִירִין אַחַר הַפֶּסַח אֲפִיקוֹמָן:
What does the wise [son] say? "'What are these testimonies, statutes and judgments that the Lord our God commanded you?' (Deuteronomy 6:20)" And accordingly you will say to him, as per the laws of the Pesach sacrifice, "We may not eat an afikoman [a dessert or other foods eaten after the meal] after [we are finished eating] the Pesach sacrifice. (Mishnah Pesachim 10:8)"
רָשָׁע מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מָה הָעֲבוֹדָה הַזּאֹת לָכֶם. לָכֶם – וְלֹא לוֹ. וּלְפִי שֶׁהוֹצִיא אֶת עַצְמוֹ מִן הַכְּלָל כָּפַר בְּעִקָּר. וְאַף אַתָּה הַקְהֵה אֶת שִׁנָּיו וֶאֱמוֹר לוֹ: "בַּעֲבוּר זֶה עָשָׂה ה' לִי בְּצֵאתִי מִמִּצְרָיִם". לִי וְלֹא־לוֹ. אִלּוּ הָיָה שָׁם, לֹא הָיָה נִגְאָל:
What does the evil [son] say? "'What is this worship to you?' (Exodus 12:26)" 'To you' and not 'to him.' And since he excluded himself from the collective, he denied a principle [of the Jewish faith]. And accordingly, you will blunt his teeth and say to him, "'For the sake of this, did the Lord do [this] for me in my going out of Egypt' (Exodus 13:8)." 'For me' and not 'for him.' If he had been there, he would not have been saved.
תָּם מָה הוּא אוֹמֵר? מַה זּאֹת? וְאָמַרְתָּ אֵלָיו "בְּחוֹזֶק יָד הוֹצִיאָנוּ ה' מִמִּצְרַיִם מִבֵּית עֲבָדִים".
What does the innocent [son] say? "'What is this?' (Exodus13:14)" And you will say to him, "'With the strength of [His] hand did the Lord take us out from Egypt, from the house of slaves' (Exodus 13:14).'"
וְשֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ לִשְׁאוֹל – אַתְּ פְּתַח לוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, וְהִגַּדְתָּ לְבִנְךָ בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא לֵאמֹר, בַּעֲבוּר זֶה עָשָׂה ה' לִי בְּצֵאתִי מִמִּצְרָיִם.
And [regarding] the one who doesn't know to ask, you will open [the conversation] for him. As it is stated (Exodus 13:8), "And you will speak to your your son on that day saying, for the sake of this, did the Lord do [this] for me in my going out of Egypt."
(י) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בָּאָדָם. הָאוֹמֵר שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, זוֹ מִדָּה בֵינוֹנִית. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, זוֹ מִדַּת סְדוֹם. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, עַם הָאָרֶץ. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, חָסִיד. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, רָשָׁע:
(10) There are four temperaments among men: the one who says "what is mine is mine, and what is yours is yours" -- that's an [average] temperament. And there are some who say that is the temperament of Sodom. [A second type is one who says] "what is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine" -- [that's an] am ha'arets (uneducated person). [A third type is one who says] "what is mine is yours, and what is yours is yours" -- [that's a] pious person. [A final type is one who says] "what is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine" -- [that's a] wicked person.
(יא) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּדֵּעוֹת. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, חָסִיד. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, רָשָׁע:
(11) There are four temperaments among dispositions: [a person who is] easy to anger and easy to appease -- his gain is canceled by his loss. [A person who is] hard to anger but [also] hard to appease -- his loss is canceled by his gain. [A person who is] hard to anger, but easy to appease -- [that's a] pious person. [A person who is] easy to anger and hard to appease -- [that's a] wicked person.
(יב) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּתַּלְמִידִים. מַהֵר לִשְׁמֹעַ וּמַהֵר לְאַבֵּד, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִשְׁמֹעַ וְקָשֶׁה לְאַבֵּד, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. מַהֵר לִשְׁמֹעַ וְקָשֶׁה לְאַבֵּד, חָכָם. קָשֶׁה לִשְׁמֹעַ וּמַהֵר לְאַבֵּד, זֶה חֵלֶק רָע:
(12) There are four temperaments among students: Quick to understand and quick to forget -- his gain is canceled by his loss. [A student who is] slow to understand and slow to forget -- his loss is canceled by his gain. [A student who is] quick to understand and slow to forget -- he is a sage. [A student who is] slow to understand and quick to forget -- that is a bad portion.
(יד) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בְּהוֹלְכֵי לְבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ. הוֹלֵךְ וְאֵינוֹ עוֹשֶׂה, שְׂכַר הֲלִיכָה בְיָדוֹ. עוֹשֶׂה וְאֵינוֹ הוֹלֵךְ, שְׂכַר מַעֲשֶׂה בְיָדוֹ. הוֹלֵךְ וְעוֹשֶׂה, חָסִיד. לֹא הוֹלֵךְ וְלֹא עוֹשֶׂה, רָשָׁע:
(14) There are four temperaments among those who go to the House of Study: [One who] goes but does not do obtains the reward for going. [One who] does but does not go obtains reward for doing. [One who] goes and does is a pious person. [One who] neither goes nor does is a wicked person.
Rabbi Sacks, Haggadah, Four Sons
It may be that the 'four sons' are not different people but successive stages in the development of a child. We begin by being unable to ask. We accept the world as given. The next stage in intellectual growth is curiosity (the child 'with a simple nature'). We ask questions with no ulterior motive. We simply want to learn. This is often followed by a period of testing and challenging the values we have received (the 'wicked' child, or the adolescent). The Hebrew word for adolescent, na'ar, also means 'shake off'. The teenage years are ones where we develop our own identity by putting received values to the test. This come sometimes lead to rebellion as a form of self-exploration. The culmination of cognitive growth is 'wisdom', the point at which we have internalised the values of heritage and are sufficiently mature to see their objective merits. Although the Haggada uses the word 'wise', rabbinic tradition preferred the phrase talmid chacham, a 'wise disciple'. Wisdom, in Judaism, is not a state, but a process of constant learning. This is why is lies as much in the questions one asks as in the answers. Every answer is itself the prelude to a deeper question, and thus there is constant growth as we move to new levels of understanding.
The Four Sons
The four sons are a vignette of the Jewish people. One asks because he wants to hear the answer. A second asks because he does not want to hear the answer. a third asks because he does not understand. The fourth does not ask because he doesn't understand that he doesn't understand. Ours has been been a monolithic people.
Essays about the Haggadah from Erica Brown
Transmission of knowledge is very tricky. Its difficulty may explain why so much of the Seder is focused on questions rather than answers. Every year, we sit down at the Seder table and ask the same questions, perhaps expecting the same answers. This routine can be tiring until we realise that in life we continuously ask the same questions, recognising with advancing maturity that the question is a variation of the one we asked earlier and that hte answers we expect become, hopefully, more sophisticated over time.
...
Children must be nurtured differently
... Children are different. They need labels, but they will fight to break out of them even as they are helped or limited by them. When we do not give enough thought to how children learn, we deny them something precious, and we also block the portals of transmission that may sustain our future.
... Questions breed a spirit of humility. Answers tend to foment arrogance. The Seder advances our master narrative through questions that lead to transmission. We sing four questions but, in actuality, so much of the text prompts curiosity. Very little of the Haggada follows any logical sequence. We relay a story in the exposition of several verses that seem disconnected, making it hard to squeeze out any narrative in chronological sequence. All of the evening's oddities provoke questions and force us out of rote learning...