Desire and Authenticity: The Tzitzit and the Harlot

R. Nathan said: There is no mitzvah in the Torah whose reward is not "at its side." Go and learn this from the mitzvah of tzitzith. There was once a certain man who was particularly diligent in the mitzvah of tzitzith. Once, hearing of a ("famed") harlot in the cities of the sea, who took four hundred gold coins as her hire, he sent her that sum, and she set a time for him. When the appointed time came, he went there and sat at the door of her house. Her maid-servant went in and said to her: That man whom you appointed a time for is sitting at the door of the house. The harlot: Let him come in. When he came in, she spread seven beds for him, six of silver and one of gold, and she was on the uppermost. Between each one was a silver ladder, and the uppermost, of gold. When he came to the act, his four tzitzith came and struck him across his face. They seemed to him like four men. He immediately left off and sat upon the ground. She, too, left off and sat upon the ground. She said to him "'Gapa of Rome' (an idolatrous oath), I shall not let you go until you tell me what blemish you have seen in me!" He: I swear, I have seen no blemish in you. There is no beauty like yours in all the world, but there is one mitzvah (tzitzith) concerning which it is written two times (Bamidbar 15:41) "I am the L-rd your G-d." "I am the L-rd your G-d" — I am destined to reward; "I am the L-rd your G-d" — I am destined to punish. And now they appeared to me as four witnesses (testifying to the above). At this, she said: I swear that I will not let you go until you write for me your name, the name of your city, and the name of the place where you study Torah. He wrote for her his name, the name of his city, the name of his master, and the name of the place where he studied Torah — whereupon she arose and divided all of her wealth: a third to the authorities (for permission to convert), a third to the poor, and a third which she took with her, in addition to those spreads. When she came to R. Meir's house of study, she said to him: My master, convert me. R. Meir: Is it possible that you have "cast your eyes" upon one of my disciples! At this, she took out the note that she had with her, and he said to her: "Go and claim your purchase!" Those spreads which she had spread for him unlawfully, she now spread for him lawfully, This was her reward in this world. As to the world to come, I do not know how much.