I have always gone to my grandparents and great aunt and uncles houses for the סדרים. I can’t remember a time when there were less than 15 people at the סדר, or less than 5 kids. This year, we will have a סדר at our own house, but there will still be 4 kids. Unfortunately, thousands of people are not able to have kids at the סדר.
In the middle of the סדר, during מגיד, we get to the four questions, taken from mishna פסחים י:ד. It is introduced as thus:
(ד) מָזְגוּ לוֹ כוֹס שֵׁנִי, וְכָאן הַבֵּן שׁוֹאֵל אָבִיו
(4) They mixed him a second cup, and here the son questions his father.
This is only one of the spots in the הגדה that we are told that the son asks. Many years of learning have discovered this to mean that the point of the סדר is so that the kid/s will ask, and we can tell them. My question is, what are we supposed to do at a סדר if there are no children?
Luckily, the גמרא addresses this directly. In response to the earlier משנה, we learn:
This teaches that if the sons aren't capable of asking, or similarly I would say not present, the wife of the head of the house would ask the questions. If the סדר is with two people of the same authority and/or age, and not a family, they ask each other.
I agree with the גמרא, but I would like to add on. I believe that whoever, according to the Gemara, is subbing in to ask the questions, should act the part. This might be shouting horribly off-key at the top of your lungs, standing on a chair (I am not recommending breaking chairs), or wearing mis-matched socks (or none at all).
We can learn from this, that even in uncertain, scary and terribly annoying situations, we can have fun. We can also learn that we often feel like we're kids, just like we are supposed to feel like we are part of the generation taken out of Egypt on פסח. The next time that we have to make an adjustment to a family tradition, or anything else, remember that it can be halachic, annoying, and very fun!