Halachot Regarding Childhood & Coming of Age

(כא) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, בֶּן חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים לַמִּקְרָא, בֶּן עֶשֶׂר לַמִּשְׁנָה, בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַמִּצְוֹת, בֶּן חֲמֵשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַתַּלְמוּד, בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדֹּף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִּקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ, בֶּן מֵאָה כְּאִלּוּ מֵת וְעָבַר וּבָטֵל מִן הָעוֹלָם:

(21) He used to say: At five years of age the study of Scripture; At ten the study of Mishnah; At thirteen subject to the commandments; At fifteen the study of Talmud; At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of “strength”; At ninety a bent body; At one hundred, as good as dead and gone completely out of the world.

עד כמה אמר רבא אמר רב ירמיה בר אבא אמר רב שלשה חדשים ושמואל אמר שלשים יום ורבי יצחק אמר ר' יוחנן חמשים יום אמר רב שימי בר אביי הלכה כרבי יצחק שאמר משום רבי יוחנן בשלמא רב ורבי יוחנן כל חד וחד כי חורפיה אלא לשמואל כי האי גוונא מי משכחת לה
The Gemara asks: How old does the child have to be so that one can assume that he already recognizes his mother? Rava said that Rav Yirmeya bar Abba said that Rav said: Three months, and Shmuel said: Thirty days, and Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Fifty days. Rav Shimi bar Abaye said: The halakha is in accordance with what Rabbi Yitzḥak said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan. The Gemara asks: Granted, Rav and Rabbi Yoḥanan are in dispute with regard to the difference between fifty days and three months, as it is possible that each baby varies according to its intelligence, as one baby is sufficiently developed at fifty days, while another knows his mother at only three months. However, according to Shmuel, can you find a case like this, a one-month-old baby who recognizes his mother?

דרש רבי עולא רבה אפיתחא דבי נשיאה אע"פ שאמרו אין אדם זן את בניו ובנותיו כשהן קטנים אבל זן קטני קטנים עד כמה עד בן שש כדרב אסי דאמר רב אסי קטן בן שש יוצא בעירוב אמו

Rabbi Ulla the Great taught at the entrance to the house of the Nasi: Although the Sages said that a person is not obligated to sustain his sons and daughters when they are young, still, he must sustain the very young ones. The Gemara asks: Until when are they considered very young? Until the age of six, in accordance with the opinion of Rav Asi, as Rav Asi said: A six-year-old minor may go out by means of his mother’s eiruv, if she prepared an eiruv on one side of the city. He is included in his mother’s eiruv rather than that of his father, as he is considered subordinate to his mother.

קטן היודע לנענע חייב בלולב:
A minor who knows how to wave the lulav is obligated in the mitzva of lulav due to the requirement to train him in the performance of mitzvot.

קטן שאין צריך לאמו חייב בסוכה

קטן שצריך לאמו יוצא בעירוב אמו ושאינו צריך לאמו מערבין עליו מזון שתי סעודות בעירובי תחומין

[יודע] לנענע חייב בלולב יודע להתעטף חייב בציצית

יודע לדבר אביו מלמדו שמע ותורה ולשון קודש

ואם לאו ראוי לו שלא בא לעולם יודע לשמור תפיליו אביו לוקח לו תפילין [כיצד בודקין אותו מטבילין אותו ונותנין לו חולין לשם תרומה]

יודע לשמור גופו אוכלין על גופו טהרות

A minor who does not require his mother is obligated [to fulfill the mitzvah of dwelling] in the Sukkah.

A minor who requires its mother is exempt from the [restrictions of] an eruv. His mother and one who does not need his mother may mix [ie, prepare] food for two meals ...

One who knows how to shake [a lulav] is required to [fulfill the mitzvah of shaking the] lulav. One who knows how to wear tzitzit (fringes) is obligated [to fulfill the mitzvah of wearing fringes].

One who knows how to speak, his father shall teach him the Shema and Torah and the Holy Language.

But if he is not worthy [of doing these things] his father takes his Tefillin (phylacteries), checking them and immersing them, and rendering them profane (ie not sacred).

One who knows how to guard his body eats pure food.

Childhood in Jewish Texts

(some halachic, some aggadic)

רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר רַב יִצְחָק מַתְנֵי לָהּ בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר, שִׁבְעָה הֲבָלִים שֶׁאָמַר קֹהֶלֶת כְּנֶגֶד שִׁבְעָה עוֹלָמוֹת שֶׁאָדָם רוֹאֶה,

בֶּן שָׁנָה דּוֹמֶה לְמֶלֶךְ נָתוּן בְּאִיסְפְּקַרְפַּסְטִי וְהַכֹּל מְחַבְּקִין וּמְנַשְּׁקִין אוֹתוֹ,

בֶּן שְׁתַּיִם וְשָׁלשׁ דּוֹמֶה לַחֲזִיר שֶׁפּוֹשֵׁט יָדָיו בְּבִיבִין.

בֶּן עֶשֶׂר שָׁנָה קוֹפֵץ כִּגְדִי.

בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים כְּסוּס נָהֵים מְשַׁפַּר גַּרְמֵיהּ וּבָעֵי אִתְּתָא. נָשָׂא אִשָּׁה הֲרֵי הוּא כַּחֲמוֹר.

הוֹלִיד בָּנִים מֵעֵז פָּנָיו כְּכֶלֶב לְהָבִיא לֶחֶם וּמְזוֹנוֹת.

R. Samuel b. R. Isaac taught in the name of R. Samuel b. Eleazar: The seven "vanities" mentioned by Koheleth correspond to the seven worlds which a man beholds.

At a year old he is like a king seated in a canopied litter, fondled and kissed by all.

At two and three he is like a pig, sticking his hands in the gutters.

At ten he skips like a kid. At twenty he is like a neighing horse, adorning his person and longing for a wife.

Having married, he is like an ass [working hard for a livelihood]

When he has begotten children, he grows brazen like a dog to supply their food and wants.

Formal Education

(taken primarily from The Child in Jewish History)

אָמַר רַב הַמְנוּנָא: לֹא חָרְבָה יְרוּשָׁלַיִם אֶלָּא בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁבִּיטְּלוּ בָּהּ תִּינוֹקוֹת שֶׁל בֵּית רַבָּן, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״שְׁפוֹךְ עַל עוֹלָל בַּחוּץ וְגוֹ׳״. מַה טַּעַם ״שְׁפוֹךְ״ — מִשּׁוּם דְּ״עוֹלָל בַּחוּץ״.

Rav Hamnuna said: Jerusalem was destroyed only because schoolchildren there were interrupted from studying Torah, as it is stated: “And I am filled with the wrath of God, I cannot contain it, pour it onto the infants in the street and onto the gathering of youths together, for men and women alike will be captured, the elderly along with those of advanced years” (Jeremiah 6:11). Rav Hamnuna explains: What is the reason that the wrath is poured? It is because infants are outside in the streets and are not studying Torah.

והא אמר רב יהודה אמר רב שתים עשרה שעות הוי היום שלש הראשונות הקב"ה יושב ועוסק בתורה שניות יושב ודן את כל העולם כולו כיון שרואה שנתחייב עולם כלייה עומד מכסא הדין ויושב על כסא רחמים שלישיות יושב וזן את כל העולם כולו מקרני ראמים עד ביצי כנים רביעיות יושב ומשחק עם לויתן שנאמר (תהלים קד, כו) לויתן זה יצרת לשחק בו אמר רב נחמן בר יצחק עם בריותיו משחק ועל בריותיו אינו משחק אלא אותו היום בלבד

But doesn’t Rav Yehuda say that Rav says: There are twelve hours in the day. During the first three, the Holy One, Blessed be He, sits and engages in Torah study.

During the second three hours, He sits and judges the entire world. Once He sees that the world has rendered itself liable to destruction, He arises from the throne of judgment and sits on the throne of mercy, and the world is not destroyed.

During the third set of three hours, the Holy One, Blessed be He, sits and sustains the entire world, from the horns of wild oxen to the eggs of lice.

During the fourth three hours, He sits and makes sport with the leviathan, as it is stated: “There is leviathan, whom You have formed to sport with” (Psalms 104:26). Evidently, God makes sport every day, not only on that one day. Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak says in explanation: He makes sport with His creations, just as He sports with the leviathan; He does not make sport of His creations but on that day alone.

ברביעיות מאי עביד יושב ומלמד תינוקות של בית רבן תורה שנאמר (ישעיהו כח, ט) את מי יורה דעה ואת מי יבין שמועה גמולי מחלב עתיקי משדים למי יורה דעה ולמי יבין שמועה לגמולי מחלב ולעתיקי משדים

The Gemara asks: If God no longer makes sport, what does He now do during the fourth three-hour period of the day? The Gemara answers: He sits and teaches Torah to schoolchildren, as it is stated: “Whom shall one teach knowledge? And whom shall one make to understand the message? Them that are weaned from the milk, them that are drawn from the breasts” (Isaiah 28:9). The verse is interpreted in the following manner: To whom does God teach knowledge, and to whom does He make to understand the message? To those who are just weaned from the milk and to those who are drawn from the breasts, i.e., children only recently weaned from nursing.

כִּי אָמַר אִיּוֹב (איוב א, ה): אוּלַי חָטְאוּ בָנַי וּבֵרְכוּ אֱלֹהִים בִּלְבָבָם, הֲדָא אָמַר אֵין הָעוֹלָה בָּא אֶלָּא עַל הַרְהוֹר הַלֵּב.

רַבִּי אַחָא בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בַּר פַּפָּא שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל אוֹמְרִים לְשֶׁעָבַר הָיִינוּ מַקְרִיבִין קָרְבָּנוֹת וּמִתְעַסְּקִין בָּהֶן, עַכְשָׁו שֶׁאֵין קָרְבָּנוֹת מַהוּ לְהִתְעַסֵּק בָּהֶם, אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, הוֹאִיל וְאַתֶּם מִתְעַסְּקִים בָּהֶם, מַעֲלֶה אֲנִי עֲלֵיכֶם כְּאִלּוּ אַתֶּם מַקְרִיבִין אוֹתָן.

רַבִּי הוּנָא אָמַר תַּרְתֵּי, אֵין כָּל הַגָּלֻיּוֹת הַלָּלוּ מִתְכַּנְסוֹת אֶלָּא בִּזְכוּת מִשְׁנָיוֹת,

מַה טַּעְמָא (הושע ח, י): גַּם כִּי יִתְנוּ בַגּוֹיִם עַתָּה אֲקַבְּצֵם.

For Job said: "It may be that my sons have sinned, and blasphemed God in their hearts, it proves that the burnt-offering is due to be brought for sinful meditation of the heart."

Rabbi Aha said in the name of Rabbi Hanina bar Papa: In order that Israel might not say: "In the past we used to offer up sacrifices, and engage in the study of them; now that there are no sacrifices, is it necessary to engage in the study of them?" the Holy One, blessed be He said, to Israel: "If you engage in the study of them, I account it unto you as if you had offered them up."

Rabbi Huna said two things. [The first was]: All the exiles will be gathered in only through the merit of the study of Mishnah.

What is the reason [for this assertion]? [It is said], Yea, if they engage in the oral learning among the nations, I will now gather them up (Hosea VIII, 10).

סֵיפָא אֲתָאן לְתִינוֹקוֹת שֶׁל בֵּית רַבָּן וּמִתַּקָּנַת יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן גַּמְלָא וְאֵילָךְ דְּאָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר רַב בְּרַם זָכוּר אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ לַטּוֹב וִיהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן גַּמְלָא שְׁמוֹ שֶׁאִלְמָלֵא הוּא נִשְׁתַּכַּח תּוֹרָה מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁבִּתְחִלָּה מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ אָב מְלַמְּדוֹ תּוֹרָה מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ אָב לֹא הָיָה לָמֵד תּוֹרָה מַאי דְּרוּשׁ וְלִמַּדְתֶּם אֹתָם וְלִמַּדְתֶּם אַתֶּם הִתְקִינוּ שֶׁיְּהוּ מוֹשִׁיבִין מְלַמְּדֵי תִינוֹקוֹת בִּירוּשָׁלַיִם מַאי דְּרוּשׁ כִּי מִצִּיּוֹן תֵּצֵא תוֹרָה וַעֲדַיִין מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ אָב הָיָה מַעֲלוֹ וּמְלַמְּדוֹ מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ אָב לֹא הָיָה עוֹלֶה וְלָמֵד הִתְקִינוּ שֶׁיְּהוּ מוֹשִׁיבִין בְּכׇל פֶּלֶךְ וּפֶלֶךְ וּמַכְנִיסִין אוֹתָן כְּבֶן שֵׁשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה כְּבֶן שְׁבַע עֶשְׂרֵה וּמִי שֶׁהָיָה רַבּוֹ כּוֹעֵס עָלָיו מְבַעֵיט בּוֹ וְיֹצֵא עַד שֶׁבָּא יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן גַּמְלָא וְתִיקֵּן שֶׁיְּהוּ מוֹשִׁיבִין מְלַמְּדֵי תִינוֹקוֹת בְּכׇל מְדִינָה וּמְדִינָה וּבְכׇל עִיר וָעִיר וּמַכְנִיסִין אוֹתָן כְּבֶן שֵׁשׁ כְּבֶן שֶׁבַע אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַב לְרַב שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר שִׁילַת עַד שֵׁית לָא תְּקַבֵּיל מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ קַבֵּיל וְאַסְפִּי לֵיהּ כְּתוֹרָא וַאֲמַר לֵיהּ רַב לְרַב שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר שִׁילַת כִּי מָחֵית לְיָנוֹקָא לָא תִּימְחֵי אֶלָּא בְּעַרְקְתָא דִמְסָנָא דְּקָארֵי קָארֵי דְּלָא קָארֵי לֶיהֱוֵי צַוְותָּא לְחַבְרֵיהּ

In the latter clause we arrive at the case of schoolchildren who come to learn Torah in his house, and this ruling applies from the time of the ordinance of Yehoshua ben Gamla and onward.

What was this ordinance? As Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: Truly, that man is remembered for the good, and his name is Yehoshua ben Gamla. If not for him the Torah would have been forgotten from the Jewish people.

Initially, whoever had a father would have his father teach him Torah, and whoever did not have a father would not learn Torah at all. The Gemara explains: What verse did they interpret homiletically that allowed them to conduct themselves in this manner? They interpreted the verse that states: “And you shall teach them [otam] to your sons” (Deuteronomy 11:19), to mean: And you yourselves [atem] shall teach, i.e., you fathers shall teach your sons.

When the Sages saw that not everyone was capable of teaching their children and Torah study was declining, they instituted an ordinance that teachers of children should be established in Jerusalem.

The Gemara explains: What verse did they interpret homiletically that enabled them to do this? They interpreted the verse: “For Torah emerges from Zion” (Isaiah 2:3). But still, whoever had a father, his father ascended with him to Jerusalem and had him taught, but whoever did not have a father, he did not ascend and learn. Therefore, the Sages instituted an ordinance that teachers of children should be established in one city in each and every region [pelekh]. And they brought the students in at the age of sixteen and at the age of seventeen.

But as the students were old and had not yet had any formal education, a student whose teacher grew angry at him would rebel against him and leave. It was impossible to hold the youths there against their will. This state of affairs continued until Yehoshua ben Gamla came and instituted an ordinance that teachers of children should be established in each and every province and in each and every town, and they would bring the children in to learn at the age of six and at the age of seven. ...

Rav said to Rav Shmuel bar Sheilat, a teacher of children: Do not accept a student before the age of six, as he is too young, and it is difficult for him to learn in a steady manner. From this point forward, accept him and stuff him with Torah like an ox. And Rav further said to Rav Shmuel bar Sheilat: When you strike a child for educational purposes, hit him only with the strap of a sandal, which is small and does not cause pain. Rav further advised him: He who reads, let him read on his own; whoever does not read, let him be a companion to his friends, which will encourage him to learn to read.

Physical Punishment

(ד) מעשה בבנו של גורנוס בלוד שברח מבית הספר והראה לו אביו באזנו ונתירא מאביו והלך ואבד עצמו בבגד ובאו ושאלו את רבי טרפון ואמר אין מונעין הימנו כל דבר:

(ה) מעשה בתינוק אחד מבני ברק ששבר צלוחית בשבת והראה לו אביו באזנו ונתירא מאביו והלך ואבד עצמו בבור ושאלו את רבי עקיבא ואמר אין מונעין הימנו כל דבר:

(ו) מכאן אמרו חכמים אל יראה אדם לתינוק באזנו אלא מלקיהו מיד או ישתוק ולא יאמר לו כלום ר׳ שמעון בן אלעזר אומר יצר תינוק ואשה תהא שמאל דוחה וימין מקרבת:

(4) It is related of the son of Gorgias of Lydda that he ran away from school and his father pointed to his ear. (i.e. he threatened to punish him.) In fear of his father he went and destroyed himself in a pit. They went and inquired of Rabbi Ṭarfon who ruled: We do not withhold anything from him. (He is buried with full rites, it is not considered suicide)

(5) It is related of a child in Benei Beraḳ that he broke a bottle on the Sabbath and his father pointed to his ear. In fear of his father he went and destroyed himself in a pit. They inquired of Rabbi Akiba who ruled: We do not withhold anything from him.

(6) Hence the Sages ruled: A man should not point at the ear of a child, but either punish him immediately or keep silent and say nothing to him.


R. Simeon b. Eleazar said: With human nature, a child and a woman, the left hand should repulse them but the right hand bring them back. (One should not be too severe with them, not suppressing their desires but disciplining them.)

(יח) עֲמָלֵק יוֹשֵׁב בְּאֶרֶץ הַנֶּגֶב (במדבר יג, כט), מָה רָאוּ לִפְתֹּחַ בַּעֲמָלֵק, מָשָׁל לְתִינוֹק שֶׁסָּרַח וְלָקָה בָּרְצוּעָה, וּכְשֶׁמְבַקְּשִׁין לְהַפְחִידוֹ מַזְכִּירִין לוֹ הָרְצוּעָה שֶׁלָּקָה בָהּ, כָּךְ הָיָה עֲמָלֵק רְצוּעָה רָעָה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל.

(18) in reference to Numbers 13:29: “Amalek dwells in the land [of the Negev]”: What [reason] did they see for opening with Amalek? A parable: To what is the matter comparable? To a child who misbehaves and is beaten with a strap. When they wanted to intimidate him, they reminded him of the strap. Similarly Amalek had been an evil strap for Israel.

רַב אִיקְּלַע לְהָהוּא אַתְרָא גְּזַר תַּעֲנִיתָא וְלָא אֲתָא מִיטְרָא נְחֵית קַמֵּיהּ שְׁלִיחָא דְצִבּוּרָא אֲמַר מַשִּׁיב הָרוּחַ וּנְשַׁב זִיקָא אֲמַר מוֹרִיד הַגֶּשֶׁם וַאֲתָא מִיטְרָא

אֲמַר לֵיהּ מַאי עוֹבָדָךְ אֲמַר לֵיהּ מַיקְרֵי דַרְדְּקֵי אֲנָא וּמַקְרֵינָא לִבְנֵי עַנְיֵי כִּבְנֵי עַתִּירֵי וְכֹל דְּלָא אֶפְשָׁר לֵיהּ לָא שָׁקֵלְינָא מִינֵּיהּ מִידֵּי וְאִית לִי פִּירָא דִכְווֹרֵי וְכׇל מַאן דְּפָשַׁע מְשַׁחֵידְנָא לֵיהּ מִינַּיְיהוּ וּמְסַדְּרִינַן לֵיהּ וּמְפַיְּיסִינַן לֵיהּ עַד דְּאָתֵי וְקָרֵי

The Gemara relates a similar incident. Rav happened to come to a certain place where he decreed a fast but rain did not come. The prayer leader descended to lead the service before him and recited: He Who makes the wind blow, and the wind blew. He continued and said: And Who makes the rain fall, and the rain came.

Rav said to him: What are your good deeds? He said to him: I am a teacher of children, and I teach the Bible to the children of the poor as to the children of the rich, and if there is anyone who cannot pay, I do not take anything from him. And I have a fishpond, and any child who neglects his studies, I bribe him with the fish and calm him, and soothe him until he comes and reads.

Stubborn and Rebellious Son

(יח) כִּֽי־יִהְיֶ֣ה לְאִ֗ישׁ בֵּ֚ן סוֹרֵ֣ר וּמוֹרֶ֔ה אֵינֶ֣נּוּ שֹׁמֵ֔עַ בְּק֥וֹל אָבִ֖יו וּבְק֣וֹל אִמּ֑וֹ וְיסְּר֣וּ אֹת֔וֹ וְלֹ֥א יִשְׁמַ֖ע אֲלֵיהֶֽם׃ (יט) וְתָ֥פְשׂוּ ב֖וֹ אָבִ֣יו וְאִמּ֑וֹ וְהוֹצִ֧יאוּ אֹת֛וֹ אֶל־זִקְנֵ֥י עִיר֖וֹ וְאֶל־שַׁ֥עַר מְקֹמֽוֹ׃ (כ) וְאָמְר֞וּ אֶל־זִקְנֵ֣י עִיר֗וֹ בְּנֵ֤נוּ זֶה֙ סוֹרֵ֣ר וּמֹרֶ֔ה אֵינֶ֥נּוּ שֹׁמֵ֖עַ בְּקֹלֵ֑נוּ זוֹלֵ֖ל וְסֹבֵֽא׃ (כא) וּ֠רְגָמֻהוּ כָּל־אַנְשֵׁ֨י עִיר֤וֹ בָֽאֲבָנִים֙ וָמֵ֔ת וּבִֽעַרְתָּ֥ הָרָ֖ע מִקִּרְבֶּ֑ךָ וְכָל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל יִשְׁמְע֥וּ וְיִרָֽאוּ׃ (ס)

If a man has a wayward and defiant son, who does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them even after they discipline him,

his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the public place of his community.

They shall say to the elders of his town, “This son of ours is disloyal and defiant; he does not heed us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”

Thereupon the men of his town shall stone him to death. Thus you will sweep out evil from your midst: all Israel will hear and be afraid.

Sifrei to the book of Deuteronomy is a combination of halachic (legal) and aggadic (legendary) material. It is thought to have been codified by the time of the Amoraim (approx 200-500 CE). A number of variants exist, which we know by different citations by later sages.

(א) כי יהיה לאיש בן ולא כשיהיה לבן בן.

(ב) בן. ולא בת.

(ג) בן - ולא איש, קטן פטור שלא בא לכלל מצות.

(ד) סורר ומורה. שני פעמים. (ומורה [סורר], שוטה. ומורה, שמורה לעצמו דרך אחרת.

(ה) (ד"א) (בשביל שאכל זה ממון אביו, אמרת בן סורר ומורה ימות! אלא נדון על שם סופו - מוטב ימות זכאי ואל ימות חייב. אביו של זה חשק יפת תואר, והכניס שטן לתוך ביתו, ונעשה בנו סורר ומורה. סופו להמיתו מיתה משונה, שנאמר וכי יהיה באיש חטא משפט מות, והומת). (לא בשבת ולא ביו"ט).

(ו) ד"א, סורר על דברי אביו, ומורה על דברי אמו. סורר על דברי תורה, ומורה על דברי הנביאים. סורר על דברי עדים, ומורה על דברי הדיינים.

(ז) (סוטה כה וש"נ) אמר רבי יאשיה, שלשה דברים סח לי רבי זעירא משום אנשי ירושלים, סוטה, אם רצה בעלה למחול לה, מוחל. סורר ומורה, אם רצו אביו ואמו למחול לו, מוחלים לו. זקן ממרא על פי ב"ד, אם רצו חביריו למחול לו, מוחלים לו.

(ח) וכשבאתי והרציתי הדברים לפני רבי יהודה בן בתירא, על שנים הודה לי ועל אחד לא הודה לי. על סוטה ועל בן סורר ומורה הודה לי, ועל זקן ממרא על פי ב"ד לא הודה לי; מפני שהיה מעמיד מחלוקת בישראל.

(ט) איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו. יכול אפילו אמרו לו אביו ואמו, להדליק את הנר, ולא הדליק? תלמוד לומר "איננו שומע" "איננו שומע" לגזרה שוה. מה "איננו שומע" האמור (כאן) [להלן], בן סורר ומורה זולל וסובא; אף "איננו שומע" האמורה (להלן) [כאן], בן סורר ומורה זולל וסובא. (מה "איננו שומע") [רבי יוסי ברבי יהודה אומר,] עד שיגנוב משל אביו ומשל אמו (וכו').

(י) ויסרו אותו. במכות.

(יא) ולא ישמע אליהם. מלמד שמלקים אותו בפני שלשה.

(1) (Devarim 21:18) "If there be to a man a son (who goes astray"): and not if there be to a son (one who has not reached the state of manhood) a son.

(2) "a son": and not a daughter.

(3) "a son": and not a man (one who has

reached the state of manhood.) A minor is exempt, for he is not obligated in (the observance of) mitzvot.

(4) "sorer" ("who turns astray") "umoreh" ("and who teaches"): two times. He turns astray from the Torah, and he teaches himself a "different way" (viz. Ibid. 20) "he gluts and he guzzles."

(5) (Variantly: Just because he used his father's money he must die?! Only he is judged based on his future behavior - better he die while [relatively] innocent and not for more severe sins. His father desired a captive woman and brought the devil into his home and caused his son to be rebellious. The result will be that he will kill him in an unnatural way, as it states (v. 22) "And if there be in a man a sin whose judgment is death, then he shall be put to death...").

(6) Variantly: "sorer": against the words of his father, "umoreh": against the words of his mother. "sorer": against the words of the Torah; "umoreh": against the words of the prophets. "sorer": against the words of witnesses; "umoreh": against the words of judges.

(7) R. Yashiah said: Three things were told to me by R. Zeira in the name of the men

of Jerusalem: A sotah (a woman suspected of infidelity) — if her husband wishes to forgive her, he may do so. A sorer umoreh — if his father and mother wish to forgive him, they may do so. An elder who rebels against beth-din — if his colleagues wish to forgive him, they may do so.

(8) And when I came and presented this to R. Yehudah b. Betheira, with two he agreed, and with one he did not agree. With (what was stated concerning) sorer umoreh, and with sotah, he agreed. With a rebellious elder, he did not agree — so as not to multiply dissension in Israel.

(9) "not heeding the voice of his father and the voice of his mother": I might think (that this applies) even if his father and mother told him to light a candle and he refused; it is, therefore, written "not heeding" here —"not heeding" elsewhere (Ibid. 20) as an identity (gezeirah shavah). Just as "not heeding" there — "sorer umoreh … glutting and guzzling," so, "not heeding" here" — "sorer umoreh," glutting and guzzling. "glutting and guzzling": R. Yossi b. R. Yehudah says: He is not liable (for this) until he steals (what he consumes) from his father and from his mother.

(10) "and they chastise him": by stripes.

(11) "And he does not listen to them": This teaches that he is flogged in the presence of three.

(א) ותפשו בו אביו ואמו. (סוטה כה) מלמד שאינו חייב עד שיהיה לו אב ואם, דברי רבי מאיר. רבי יהודה אומר, אם לא היתה אמו ראויה לאביו, אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה.

(ב) והוציאו אותו אל זקני עירו ואל שער מקומו. (מכות י) מצוה בזקני עירו ובשער מקומו.

(ג) ואמרו אל זקני עירו, בננו זה. שלקה בפניכם. מלמד שאם מת אחד מהם, אינו נסקל.

(ד) (סנהדרין שם) היה אחד מהם גידם או חגר או אלם או חרש או סומא, אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה. שנא' "ותפשו בו" ולא גדמים. "והוציאו אותו" ולא חגרים. "ואמרו" ולא אלמים. "בננו זה" ולא סומים. "איננו שומע בקולנו" ולא חרשים. מתרים בו בפני שלשה ומלקים אותו. חזר וקלקל, נידון בכ"ג, ואין נסקל עד שיהיו שם שלשה הראשונים, שנאמר "בננו זה" זה שלקה בפניכם. "זולל וסובא", זולל בבשר וסובא ביין. אף על פי שאין ראיה לדבר, זכר לדבר, (משלי כג) אל תהי בסובאי יין, בזוללי בשר למו. ואומר, (משלי כג) זולל וסובא יורש, וקרעים תלביש נומה.

(1) (Devarim 21:19) "Then his father and mother shall take hold of him": We are hereby taught that he is not liable unless he has a father and a mother. These are the words of R. Meir. R. Yehudah says: If his mother were not fit for (i.e., similar to) his father, he does not become a sorer umoreh.

(2) "and they shall take him out to the elders of his city and to the gate of his place": This is a mitzvah, (but not categorical).

(3) "This, our son," who received stripes before you — whereby we are taught that if one of them died, he is not stoned.

(4) (Ibid. 20) "And they shall say to the elders of his city": If one of them (either his father or his mother) had a severed hand, or were lame or mute of deaf or blind, he does not become a sorer umoreh, it being written "and they shall seize him" — and not if their hand were severed; "and they shall take him out" — and not if they were lame; "and they shall say" — and not if they were mute; "this, our son" — and not if they were blind;" "not heeding our voice" — and not if they were deaf, (in which case they could not hear his refusal to heed them.)

They warn him before three (judges) and administer stripes. If he reverted to his wrong, he is judged by twenty-three, but he is not stoned unless there be among them the first three, it being written "This, our son," who received stripes before you — whereby we are taught that if one of them died, he is not stoned. "glutting and guzzling": glutting flesh and guzzling wine. Even though there is no proof for this, there is intimation of it in (Proverbs 23:20) "Do not be among the guzzlers of wine, among the glutters of flesh for themselves" and in (Ibid. 21) "For the guzzler and the glutter will be poor, and the slumberer will wear tatters."

אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה עד שיאכל בשר וישתה יין: תנו רבנן אכל כל מאכל ולא אכל בשר שתה כל משקה ולא שתה יין אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה עד שיאכל בשר וישתה יין שנאמר זולל וסובא ואע"פ שאין ראייה לדבר זכר לדבר שנאמר (משלי כג, כ) אל תהי בסובאי יין בזוללי בשר למו ואומר (משלי כג, כא) כי סובא וזולל יורש וקרעים תלביש נומה אמר ר' זירא כל הישן בבית המדרש תורתו נעשית לו קרעים קרעים שנאמר וקרעים תלביש נומה: מתני׳ גנב משל אביו ואכל ברשות אביו משל אחרים ואכל ברשות אחרים משל אחרים ואכל ברשות אביו אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה עד שיגנוב משל אביו ויאכל ברשות אחרים רבי יוסי בר' יהודה אומר עד שיגנוב משל אביו ומשל אמו: גמ׳ גנב משל אביו ואכל ברשות אביו אע"ג דשכיח ליה בעית משל אחרים ואכל ברשות אחרים אע"ג דלא בעית לא שכיח ליה וכל שכן משל אחרים ואכל ברשות אביו דלא שכיח ליה ובעית עד שיגנוב משל אביו ויאכל ברשות אחרים דשכיח ליה ולא בעית: רבי יוסי בר' יהודה אומר עד שיגנוב משל אביו ומשל אמו: אמו מנא לה מה שקנתה אשה קנה בעלה אמר רבי יוסי בר' חנינא מסעודה המוכנת לאביו ולאמו והאמר רבי חנן בר מולדה אמר רב הונא אינו חייב עד שיקנה בשר בזול ויאכל יין בזול וישתה אלא אימא מדמי סעודה המוכנת לאביו ולאמו איבעית אימא דאקני לה אחר ואמר לה על מנת שאין לבעליך רשות בהן: מתני׳ היה אביו רוצה ואמו אינה רוצה אביו אינו רוצה ואמו רוצה אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה עד שיהו שניהם רוצין רבי יהודה אומר אם לא היתה אמו ראויה לאביו אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה: גמ׳ מאי אינה ראויה אילימא חייבי כריתות וחייבי מיתות ב"ד סוף סוף אבוה אבוה נינהו ואמיה אמיה נינהו אלא בשוה לאביו קאמר תניא נמי הכי רבי יהודה אומר אם לא היתה אמו שוה לאביו בקול ובמראה ובקומה אינו נעשה בן סורר ומורה מאי טעמא דאמר קרא איננו שומע בקלנו מדקול בעינן שוין מראה וקומה נמי בעינן שוין כמאן אזלא הא דתניא בן סורר ומורה לא היה ולא עתיד להיות ולמה נכתב דרוש וקבל שכר כמאן כרבי יהודה איבעית אימא ר' שמעון היא דתניא אמר רבי שמעון וכי מפני שאכל זה תרטימר בשר ושתה חצי לוג יין האיטלקי אביו ואמו מוציאין אותו לסקלו אלא לא היה ולא עתיד להיות ולמה נכתב דרוש וקבל שכר אמר ר' יונתן אני ראיתיו וישבתי על קברו כמאן אזלא הא דתניא עיר הנדחת לא היתה ולא עתידה להיות ולמה נכתבה דרוש וקבל שכר כמאן כר' אליעזר דתניא רבי אליעזר אומר כל עיר שיש בה אפילו מזוזה אחת אינה נעשית עיר הנדחת

§ The mishna teaches that the boy does not become a stubborn and rebellious son unless he actually eats meat and drinks wine.

The Sages taught in a baraita: If he ate any other food but did not eat meat, or if he drank any other beverage but did not drink wine, he does not become a stubborn and rebellious son unless he actually eats meat and drinks wine, as it is stated: “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voices; he is a glutton and a drunkard.”

And although there is no explicit proof to the matter, there is an allusion to the matter in another verse, as it is stated: “Be not among wine drinkers, among gluttonous eaters of meat” (Proverbs 23:20). And the verse states: “For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty, and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags” (Proverbs 23:21). That is to say, a person who is a glutton and a drunkard, and sleeps a lot due to his excessive eating and drinking, will end up poor and dressed in rags.

Rabbi Zeira expounds the same verse and says: With regard to anyone who sleeps in the study hall, his Torah shall become tattered, as it is stated: “And drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.”

MISHNA: If he stole that which belonged to his father and ate on his father’s property, or he stole that which belonged to others and ate on the property of others, or he stole that which belonged to others and ate on his father’s property, he does not become a stubborn and rebellious son, unless he steals that which belonged to his father and eats on the property of others.

Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Yehuda, says: He does not become a stubborn and rebellious son unless he steals that which belonged to his father and that which belonged to his mother.

GEMARA: The Gemara explains the reasons for the various halakhot taught in the mishna: If he stole that which belonged to his father and ate on his father’s property, even though this is accessible to him and it is easy for him to steal, he is afraid that his father will see him eating what he had stolen, and therefore he will not be drawn after his action to further evil.

If he stole that which belonged to others and ate on the property of others, even though he is not afraid of them, as they neither know him nor watch over him, this theft is not easily accessible to him, as it is performed on someone else’s property, and therefore he will not be drawn to additional sin.

And all the more so if he stole that which belonged to others and ate on his father’s property, in which case it is not accessible to him, and he is also afraid of his father.

Therefore, he is not liable unless he steals that which belonged to his father and eats on the property of others, in which case it is easily accessible to him, and he is not afraid, and there is concern that he will be drawn after his action to additional sin.

The mishna teaches that Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Yehuda, says that he is not liable as a stubborn and rebellious son unless he steals that which belonged to his father and that which belonged to his mother.

The Gemara asks: With regard to his mother, from where does she have independently owned property that her son can steal? The basis for this question is the halakha that anything that a woman acquires is acquired by her husband.

Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says in answer to this question: The mishna is referring to a case where the boy stole food from a meal that had been prepared for his father and for his mother. In such a case the husband grants his wife ownership of the food that she will eat over the course of her meal.

The Gemara raises a difficulty. But doesn’t Rabbi Ḥanan bar Molada say that Rav Huna says: A stubborn and rebellious son is not liable unless he purchases inexpensive meat and eats it, and he purchases inexpensive wine and drinks it, which indicates that he becomes liable only if he steals money, not if he steals the actual meat and wine? Rather, say that the boy stole from money set aside for a meal that was to be prepared for his father and for his mother.

The Gemara presents another answer to the question posed concerning the opinion of Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Yehuda: If you wish, say instead that another person gave property to the mother and said to her: This shall be yours on the condition that your husband shall have no right to it. In such a case, the woman acquires the property for herself and her husband does not acquire it. Therefore, it is possible for the son to steal from his mother’s property.

MISHNA: If his father wishes to have him punished but his mother does not wish that, or if his father does not wish to have him punished but his mother wishes that, he does not become a stubborn and rebellious son, unless they both wish that he be punished.

Rabbi Yehuda says: If his mother was not suited for his father, the two being an inappropriate match, as the Gemara will explain, he does not become a stubborn and rebellious son.

GEMARA: The Gemara asks: What does Rabbi Yehuda mean when he speaks of the mother as being not suited for the father? If we say that due to their union they are among those who are liable to receive karet [excommunication], in which case the marriage does not take effect, and certainly if the union puts them in the category of those who are liable to receive one of the types of court-imposed death penalty, in which case the marriage also does not take effect, there is a difficulty: Why should it matter if they are not married? Ultimately, his father is still his father and his mother is still his mother, and the verses concerning the stubborn and rebellious son can be fulfilled. Rather, Rabbi Yehuda is saying that the boy’s mother must be identical to his father in several aspects.

The Gemara comments: This is also taught in a baraita: Rabbi Yehuda says: If his mother was not identical to his father in voice, appearance, and height, he does not become a stubborn and rebellious son.

The Gemara asks: What is the reason for this? As the verse states: “He will not obey our voices [kolenu]” (Deuteronomy 21:20), which indicates that they both have the same voice. And since we require that they be identical in voice, we also require that they be identical in appearance and height.

The Gemara asks: In accordance with whose opinion is that which is taught in a baraita: There has never been a stubborn and rebellious son and there will never be one in the future, as it is impossible to fulfill all the requirements that must be met in order to apply this halakha. And why, then, was the passage relating to a stubborn and rebellious son written in the Torah? So that you may expound upon new understandings of the Torah and receive reward for your learning, this being an aspect of the Torah that has only theoretical value.

In accordance with whose opinion is this? It is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda, who requires that the parents have certain identical characteristics, making it virtually impossible to apply the halakha. If you wish, say instead that this baraita is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Shimon.

As it is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Shimon says: And is it simply due to the fact that the boy ate a tarteimar of meat and drank a half-log of Italian wine that his father and his mother shall take him out to stone him?

Rather, there has never been a stubborn and rebellious son and there will never be one in the future. And why, then, was the passage relating to a stubborn and rebellious son written in the Torah? So that you may expound upon new understandings of the Torah and receive reward for your learning.

Rabbi Yonatan says: This is not so, as I saw one. I was once in a place where a stubborn and rebellious son was condemned to death, and I even sat on his grave after he was executed.

Who Is Permitted to do What?

(ו) קָטָן קוֹרֵא בַּתּוֹרָה וּמְתַרְגֵּם, אֲבָל אֵינוֹ פּוֹרֵס עַל שְׁמַע, וְאֵינוֹ עוֹבֵר לִפְנֵי הַתֵּיבָה, וְאֵינוֹ נוֹשֵׂא אֶת כַּפָּיו.

פּוֹחֵחַ פּוֹרֵס אֶת שְׁמַע וּמְתַרְגֵּם, אֲבָל אֵינוֹ קוֹרֵא בַתּוֹרָה וְאֵינוֹ עוֹבֵר לִפְנֵי הַתֵּבָה וְאֵינוֹ נוֹשֵׂא אֶת כַּפָּיו.

(6) A minor may read the Torah in public and also translate the text for the congregation into Aramaic, but he may not recite the introductory prayers and blessing before Shema, and he may not pass before the ark to lead the congregation in prayer, and he may not lift his hands to recite the Priestly Benediction.

A minor whose limbs are exposed [due to ragged clothing] may recite the introductory prayers and blessing before Shema and translate the Torah reading into Aramaic, but he may not read from the Torah out of respect for the Torah; he may not pass before the ark to lead the congregation in prayer; and he may not lift his hands to recite the Priestly Benediction out of respect for the congregation.

(ג) נָשִׁים וַעֲבָדִים וּקְטַנִּים פְּטוּרִין מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלִּין, וְחַיָּבִין בִּתְפִלָּה וּבִמְזוּזָה, וּבְבִרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן:

(3) Women, slaves and minors are exempt from the recitation of Shema and from phylacteries, but are obligated in T'filah, mezuza and Grace after Meals.

Women and Education

(יב) הזבין והזבות והנדות והיולדות מותרין לקרות בתורה ולשנות במשנה במדרש בהלכות ובאגדות

(12) Zavim, Zavot(two different categories of impure individuals), women who are menstruating, and women who gave birth [and have yet to immerse in the mikvah] are permitted to read the Torah and to learn Mishna, Midrash, laws, and Aggadot.

(יג) לֹא יִלְמַד אָדָם רַוָּק סוֹפְרִים, וְלֹא תִלְמַד אִשָּׁה סוֹפְרִים. רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר, אַף מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ אִשָּׁה, לֹא יִלְמַד סוֹפְרִים:

(13) A bachelor may not act as a teacher of children, nor may a woman act as a teacher of children. Rabbi Elazar says: Even one who does not have a wife may not act as a teacher of children.

Is 13 the Age of Majority?

(יד) כֹּ֗ל הָעֹבֵר֙ עַל־הַפְּקֻדִ֔ים מִבֶּ֛ן עֶשְׂרִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה וָמָ֑עְלָה יִתֵּ֖ן תְּרוּמַ֥ת יְהוָֽה׃

(14) Everyone who is entered in the records, from the age of twenty years up, shall give the Eternal's offering.

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר יְהוָ֔ה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֖ן לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ב) נָשֹׂ֗א אֶת־רֹאשׁ֙ בְּנֵ֣י קְהָ֔ת מִתּ֖וֹךְ בְּנֵ֣י לֵוִ֑י לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָ֖ם לְבֵ֥ית אֲבֹתָֽם׃ (ג) מִבֶּ֨ן שְׁלֹשִׁ֤ים שָׁנָה֙ וָמַ֔עְלָה וְעַ֖ד בֶּן־חֲמִשִּׁ֣ים שָׁנָ֑ה כָּל־בָּא֙ לַצָּבָ֔א לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת מְלָאכָ֖ה בְּאֹ֥הֶל מוֹעֵֽד׃

(1) The Eternal spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying: (2) Take a [separate] census of the Kohathites among the Levites, by the clans of their ancestral house, (3) from the age of thirty years up to the age of fifty, all who are subject to service, to perform tasks for the Tent of Meeting.

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֨ר יְהוָ֧ה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֛ה בְּמִדְבַּ֥ר סִינַ֖י בְּאֹ֣הֶל מוֹעֵ֑ד בְּאֶחָד֩ לַחֹ֨דֶשׁ הַשֵּׁנִ֜י בַּשָּׁנָ֣ה הַשֵּׁנִ֗ית לְצֵאתָ֛ם מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ב) שְׂא֗וּ אֶת־רֹאשׁ֙ כָּל־עֲדַ֣ת בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָ֖ם לְבֵ֣ית אֲבֹתָ֑ם בְּמִסְפַּ֣ר שֵׁמ֔וֹת כָּל־זָכָ֖ר לְגֻלְגְּלֹתָֽם׃ (ג) מִבֶּ֨ן עֶשְׂרִ֤ים שָׁנָה֙ וָמַ֔עְלָה כָּל־יֹצֵ֥א צָבָ֖א בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל תִּפְקְד֥וּ אֹתָ֛ם לְצִבְאֹתָ֖ם אַתָּ֥ה וְאַהֲרֹֽן׃

(1) On the first day of the second month, in the second year following the exodus from the land of Egypt, the Eternal spoke to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, in the Tent of Meeting, saying: (2) Take a census of the whole Israelite community by the clans of its ancestral houses, listing the names, every male, head by head. (3) You and Aaron shall record them by their groups, from the age of twenty years up, all those in Israel who are able to bear arms.

Age of Majority vs Puberty

Calendar Age vs Biology

Mature Content Warning: the discussion of puberty that follows sometimes relies on biological indicators as to when one reaches maturity. The definition of maturity can include both consensual and non-consensual sexual activity.

"[T]he legal, religious, and sexual definitions of childhood and maturity were often distinctive in this period and did not coalesce easily with the educational distinctions to form neat categories and stages of development."

Ephraim Kanarfogel, Jewish Education and Society in the High Middle Ages (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 1992), p 137 no 30 as quoted in Cooper, John. The Child in Jewish History (Northvale, New Jersey: Jason Aronson Inc) 1996.

(יב) לֹא יִתְיַחֵד אָדָם עִם שְׁתֵּי נָשִׁים, אֲבָל אִשָּׁה אַחַת מִתְיַחֶדֶת עִם שְׁנֵי אֲנָשִׁים. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר, אַף אִישׁ אֶחָד מִתְיַחֵד עִם שְׁתֵּי נָשִׁים בִּזְמַן שֶׁאִשְׁתּוֹ עִמּוֹ וְיָשֵׁן עִמָּהֶם בְּפֻנְדְּקִי, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאִשְׁתּוֹ מְשַׁמַּרְתּוֹ. מִתְיַחֵד אָדָם עִם אִמּוֹ וְעִם בִּתּוֹ, וְיָשֵׁן עִמָּהֶם בְּקֵרוּב בָּשָׂר. וְאִם הִגְדִּילוּ, זוֹ יְשֵׁנָה בִכְסוּתָהּ וְזֶה יָשֵׁן בִּכְסוּתוֹ:

(12) A man may not be secluded with two women lest he sin with them, but one woman may be secluded with two men. Rabbi Shimon says: Even one man may be secluded with two women when his wife is with him, and in that situation he may even sleep in the same inn with two women, because his wife guards him from sinning with them. They further said that a man may be secluded with his mother, and with his daughter, and sleep alongside them with bodily contact without clothes, since there is no concern that they will engage in sexual intercourse. And when they, the son or daughter, have grown up, this one sleeps in her garment and that one sleeps in his garment, but they may share a bed.

ת"ר נתמלא זקנו ראוי ליעשות שליח ציבור ולירד לפני התיבה ולישא את כפיו מ

אימתי כשר לעבודה משיביא שתי שערות רבי אומר אומר אני עד שיהא בן עשרים

The Sages taught: If one’s beard is fully grown, he is fit to be appointed an emissary of the community for various matters, and to descend before the ark as a prayer leader, and to lift his hands for the Priestly Benediction.

From when is a priest fit for Temple service? It is from the time he reaches puberty and grows two pubic hairs. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi says: I say that he is not fit for Temple service until he is twenty years of age.

אָמַר מָר: אִם הָיוּ בָּנָיו וּבְנֵי בֵּיתוֹ קְטַנִּים, מוּתָּר: וְעַד כַּמָּה? אָמַר רַב חִסְדָּא: תִּינוֹקֶת בַּת שָׁלֹשׁ שָׁנִים וְיוֹם אֶחָד, וְתִינוֹק בֶּן תֵּשַׁע שָׁנִים וְיוֹם אֶחָד. אִיכָּא דְאָמְרִי: תִּינוֹקֶת בַּת אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד, וְתִינוֹק בֶּן שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וְיוֹם אֶחָד. אִידֵּי וְאִידֵּי עַד כְּדַי ״שָׁדַיִם נָכֹנוּ וּשְׂעָרֵךְ צִמֵּחַ״.

The Gemara asks: Until what age is one still considered a minor? Rav Ḥisda said: A girl until she is three years and one day old, and a boy until he is nine years and one day old, for these are the ages from which a sexual act in which they participate is considered a sexual act. Some say: A girl eleven years and one day old and a boy of twelve years and one day old, as that is the age at which they are considered adults in this regard. This age is only approximate, as the age of majority for both this, the boy, and that, the girl, is at the onset of puberty in accordance with the verse: “Your breasts were formed and your hair was grown” (Ezekiel 16:7).

Halizah (or chalitzah; Hebrew: חליצה‎) is, under the biblical system of levirate marriage known as yibbum, the process by which a childless widow and a brother of her deceased husband may avoid the duty to marry.

The process involves the widow making a declaration, taking off a shoe of the brother (i.e. her brother-in-law), and spitting on the floor. Through this ceremony, the brother and any other brothers are released from the obligation of marrying the woman for the purpose of conceiving a child which would be considered the progeny of the deceased man. The ceremony of chalitzah makes the widow free to marry whomever she desires, except for a Cohen (priest). (Deuteronomy 25:5–10).

It is sufficient for only one brother-in-law to perform the ceremony. The mode of levirate marriage (Genesis 38:8) is thus modified in the Deuteronomic code attributed to Moses, by permitting the surviving brother to refuse to marry his brother's widow, provided he submits to the ceremony of halitzah. In the Talmudic period the tendency against the original mode was intensified by apprehension that the brother-in-law might desire to marry his brother's widow for motives other than that of "establishing a name unto his brother." Therefore, many Talmudic and later rabbis preferred halitzah to actual marriage. Thus the ancient institution of the levirate marriage fell into disuse, so that at present halitzah is the general rule and marriage the rare exception. (Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halizah)

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן אָמַר שְׁמוּאֵל בּוֹדְקִין לְקִדּוּשִׁין לְגֵרוּשִׁין וְלַחֲלִיצָה וּלְמֵיאוּנִין וְלִמְכּוֹר בְּנִכְסֵי אָבִיו עַד שֶׁיְּהֵא בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים וְכֵיוָן דִּבְדַקְנָא לְקִדּוּשִׁין לְגֵרוּשִׁין לְמָה לִי לֹא נִצְרְכָא אֶלָּא לְיִבּוּם דִּתְנַן בֶּן תֵּשַׁע שָׁנִים וְיוֹם אֶחָד שֶׁבָּא עַל יְבִמְתּוֹ קְנָאָהּ וְאֵין נוֹתֵן גֵּט עַד שֶׁיִּגְדַּל לַחֲלִיצָה לְאַפּוֹקֵי מִדְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי דְּאָמַר אִישׁ כָּתוּב בַּפָּרָשָׁה אֲבָל אִשָּׁה בֵּין גְּדוֹלָה וּבֵין קְטַנָּה קָא מַשְׁמַע לַן דְּמַקְּשִׁינַן אִשָּׁה לְאִישׁ דְּלָא כְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי וּלְמֵיאוּנִין לְאַפּוֹקֵי מִדְּרַבִּי יְהוּדָה דְּאָמַר עַד שֶׁיִּרְבֶּה שָׁחוֹר קָא מַשְׁמַע לַן דְּלָא כְּרַבִּי יְהוּדָה וְלִמְכּוֹר בְּנִכְסֵי אָבִיו עַד שֶׁיְּהֵא בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לְאַפּוֹקֵי מִמַּאן דְּאָמַר בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה וְהִלְכְתָא תּוֹךְ זְמַן כְּלִפְנֵי זְמַן וְהִלְכְתָא כְּגִידֵּל בַּר מְנַשֶּׁה וְהִלְכְתָא כְּמָר זוּטְרָא וְהִלְכְתָא כְּאַמֵּימָר וְהִלְכְתָא כְּרַב נַחְמָן אָמַר שְׁמוּאֵל בְּכוּלְּהוּ:

§ Rav Naḥman says that Shmuel says: Children who have reached the age of majority, i.e., a boy who is thirteen years old and a girl who is twelve years old, are examined for signs indicating puberty if it is necessary to determine their adulthood for the purpose of betrothal, for the purpose of divorce, for the purpose of ḥalitza, and for the purpose of stating a girl’s refusal to remain married.

But in order to sell from the property that one inherited from his father, the seller must be older, and one cannot sell this property until the seller is twenty years old.

The Gemara asks: But once I examined the boy for the purpose of betrothal, why do I need to examine him again for the purpose of divorce?

The Gemara answers: This is necessary only with regard to the levirate marriage of a minor, as we learned in a mishna: A boy who is nine years and one day old who engaged in intercourse with his yevama, i.e., his brother’s widow, acquired her as his wife by means of engaging in the act of intercourse. Although a minor cannot betroth a woman under ordinary circumstances, in the case of levirate marriage the act of intercourse of a nine-year-old with his yevama effects acquisition.

But he cannot give her a bill of divorce until he reaches his majority. It is therefore necessary to examine him at the time of the divorce.

The Gemara explains why it is necessary to mention examining a boy for the purpose of ḥalitza: This is mentioned to the exclusion of that which Rabbi Yosei says, as Rabbi Yosei says: “Man,” i.e., an adult man, is written in the Torah passage with regard to ḥalitza, as the verse states: “And if the man does not wish to take his brother’s wife” (Deuteronomy 25:7). But a woman, whether she is an adult or a minor, can be released by ḥalitza, as the verse does not indicate her age.

To counter this, Rav Naḥman teaches us that a woman is juxtaposed to a man in this passage, indicating that the yevama must also have reached adulthood, and the halakha is not in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yosei.

The Gemara explains why it is necessary to mention examining a person for the purpose of stating her refusal. This is mentioned to the exclusion of that which Rabbi Yehuda says, as Rabbi Yehuda says that a girl whose mother or brother married her off while she was a minor can nullify her marriage by refusing to remain married, and she can state this refusal until she reaches complete maturity, i.e., when the area covered by black pubic hairs is greater than the skin of the genital area.

Rav Naḥman therefore teaches us that the halakha is not in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda, and once a girl has developed two pubic hairs she cannot state her refusal.

Rav Naḥman states: But in order to sell from the property that one inherited from his father, the seller must be older, and he cannot sell the property until he is twenty years old. This is mentioned to the exclusion of the opinion of the one who says that the seller can be eighteen years old.

The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is that with regard to the age when a minor can sell property inherited from his father, during the time, i.e., during his twentieth year, is considered as before the time when it is permitted, and he cannot sell until the end of his twentieth year.

And the halakha is in accordance with the ruling that Rava sent to Giddel bar Menashe, that a child who has reached his majority and understands the nature of business negotiations can sell land.

The Gemara continues: And the halakha is in accordance with the statement of Mar Zutra, that one who is not fit to sell land is also not fit to bear witness with regard to land.

And the halakha is in accordance with the statement of Ameimar, that an orphan under the age of twenty can bestow gifts from the property he inherited from his father.

And the halakha is in accordance with the statement that Rav Naḥman says that Shmuel says with regard to all the matters that he mentioned.

Back to the Synagogue Service!

(ח) מִי שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה בְּנוֹ בַּר מִצְוָה, כְּשֶׁעוֹלֶה לַתּוֹרָה בַּפַּעַם הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, לְאַחַר שֶׁבֵּרַךְ בְּרָכָה אַחֲרוֹנָה עַל סֵּפֶר הַתּוֹרָה, מְבָרֵךְ הָאָב וְאוֹמֵר, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלֹקֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר פְּטָרַנִי מֵעָנְשׁוֹ שֶׁל זֶה (עַיֵּן בספר חיי"א). וּמִצְוָה עַל הָאָדָם לַעֲשׂוֹת סְעוּדָה בְּיוֹם שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה בְּנוֹ בַּר מִצְוָה, דְּהַיְנוּ בְּיוֹם שֶׁנִּכְנַס לִשְׁנַת הָאַרְבַּע עֶשְׂרֵה. וְאִם הַנַּעַר דּוֹרֵשׁ, הֲוֵי סְעוּדַת מִצְוָה אֲפִלּוּ אֵינָהּ בְּאוֹתוֹ יוֹם (רכה).

(8) The first time a Bar Mitzvah is called to the Torah, after he has concluded the second berachah over [the reading of] the Torah, the father says the following berachah: Baruch ata Adonoy Elokeinu melech ha'olam asher petarani mei'onsho shel zeh [Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe Who has freed me from the punishment due this boy]. It is a mitzvah for a father to prepare a festive meal on the day that his son becomes Bar Mitzvah, that is, on the first day of his fourteenth year. If the boy delivers a Torah discourse, it is considered a meal for the sake of a mitzvah even if [the banquet] is not given on the [Bar Mitzvah] day.

Why does fourteen appear here?

"We see that it was the physical symptoms and not a definite age that ushered in the age of majority. But, as we have also pointed out before, the age of thirteen was the age at which signs of puberty usually appeared. Hence, when no serious issues were involved, one was considered of full age at thirteen, without undergoing a physical examination, on the assumption that signs of puberty have developed. Thus, the rabbinical scholars speak very often of the age of thirteen as being the age of majority, without referring at all to the signs of puberty, assuming that one possesses them at this time."

"The Minor in Jewish Law" (https://www.jstor.org/stable/1451425)

What is a Shaliach Tzibur (Public Emissary)?

The Shaliach Tzibbur is the person who leads the congregation (tzibur) in prayers and at times fulfills its obligation on its behalf.

A young man who has come of age is eligible to become a Shliach Tzibur, to participate in leading public worship in the synagogue. Before the professionalization of the rabbinate, the rabbi's role was scholar and judge more often than worship leader. Members of the community took turns leading the public in worship to fulfill the commandment to pray three times per day.

From Bar Mitzvah: A History (Rabbi Michael Hilton, JPS, Philadelphia 2014).

-A key text from Solomon Luria (1518-74, Poland) indicates that by the late sixteenth century: bar mitzvah was now a popular custom; it was celebrated in Germany with a party; and a speech made by the boy at the party was recommended.

-By the late 1500s tutors could earn extra income by writing boys' speeches for them.

-From 1617 comes evidence that the minimum age of thirteen plus one day for the bar mitzvah was strictly enforced.

-Since 1759 it became common for the bar mitzvah to read maftir and haftarah.(35)

[A] se'udat mitzvah [is] a meal held to publicize the performing of a happy duty [per Luria]. (37)

Bat Mitzvah

When a young woman turns 12 she is considered of legal age comparable to a boy turning 13 [responsibility to observe mitzvot].

Not historically marked with a ceremony. Some options for young women have been: delivering a drash on the Haftarah portion of the week, reading from a book other than Torah (Esther or Psalms).

First modern Bat Mitzvah was in 1922 - Mordechai Kaplan's daughter Judith.

Customs vary by community today. In most Reform and Conservative synagogues in the United States the process is the same for all young people regardless of gender.

What does a young person prepare for this event?

I. Liturgy - leads sections of the Shabbat morning service

II. Torah (including sermon) - 5-7 aliyot of 3-5 verses each.

III. Haftarah - 5-7 verses.

Adult B'nai Mitzvah