A Cabala da Inveja 22 "Judô de vida"
O humor de Rabba

כִּי הָא דְּרַבָּה מִקַּמֵּי דְּפָתַח לְהוּ לְרַבָּנַן אָמַר מִילְּתָא דִּבְדִיחוּתָא וּבָדְחִי רַבָּנַן, לְסוֹף יָתֵיב בְּאֵימְתָא וּפָתַח בִּשְׁמַעְתָּא.

Is like that which Rabba did. Before he began teaching halakha to the Sages, he would say something humorous and the Sages would be cheered. Ultimately, he sat in trepidation and began teaching the halakha.

Rab Zalman no Taxi

“Vocês acreditam no Novo Testamento?”, perguntou retraindo-se em direção à sua porta, como se tivesse realmente ousado tocar em alguma questão nevrálgica. Reb Zalman não hesitou por um único instante: “Sim!”, disse ele, para meu espanto, e arrematou: “Sim, mas no nosso Novo Testamento. Nós temos o nosso tipo de Novo Testamento.” O motorista reagiu de imediato, com um sorriso que demonstrava não compreender bem o que dizia o rabino, mas, por alguma razão, o que ouvira parecia-lhe simpático. Seu corpo endireitou-se no banco e, sem mais apresentar o ar inicial de desconfiança e curiosidade, continuou a dirigir com um sorriso nos lábios. Quando chegamos a nosso destino, o motorista não quis cobrar a corrida e somente depois de muito insistirmos pagamos e descemos do táxi.


Perguntei a Reb Zalman por que respondera à pergunta do motorista daquela forma. Ele então explicou: “Se tivesse começado a ‘enrolar’, dizendo que não acreditamos, mas que respeitamos a crença dos outros, e se tivesse mergulhado num tom apologético de simpatia para lidar com a estranheza de onde partia a pergunta, em pleno táxi, não chegaríamos a nada. Desta maneira, não menti – temos o Talmude, um livro canonizado e que com boa vontade podemos chamar de um Novo Texto canônico. Em vez de lidar com a estranheza, apliquei um pouco de judô de vida.

“O que Reb Zalman queria dizer é que em relação a certas perguntas, ou mesmo situações, devemos saber onde o outro se encontra no momento da pergunta. (...) Reb Zalman procurava diminuir esta distância. No momento em que a pergunta sobre o Novo Testamento surgiu, ela veio com a violência que materializa a diferença e que dispensava ao solidéu a qualidade de um pequeno monumento ao estado de estranhamento que podemos auferir do outro. Para lidar com esta situação, Reb Zalman utilizou-se de judô, ou seja, a prática que prega que aquele que é abordado com um golpe numa direção não deve tentar contrapô-lo. Ao contrário, se participar com mais força na direção do próprio ataque, o “adversário” será neutralizado, sem a necessidade de um choque frontal.

Excerpt From: Nilton Bonder. “A Cabala da inveja.”

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, Michtav M’Eliyahu, Vol. I, p. 94

What is truth (אמת) and what is falsehood (שקר)? When we went to school we were taught that truth is to tell facts as they occurred and falsehood is to deviate from this. This is true in simple cases, but in life many occasions arise when this simple definition no longer applies.

Sometimes it may be wrong to “tell the truth” about another person, for example if it would reveal something negative about him, unless there was an overriding purpose and necessity. And sometimes it may be necessary to change details, when the plain truth would not bring benefit, but injury. In such cases what appears to be true is false (שקר), since it produces evil effects; and what appears to be false may help to achieve the truth.

We had better define truth (אמת) as that which is conducive to good and which conforms with the Will of the Creator, and falsehood (שקר) as that which furthers the scheme of the Yetzer HaRah, the power of evil in the world.

Não mentir - O mandamento

(ז) מִדְּבַר־שֶׁ֖קֶר תִּרְחָ֑ק וְנָקִ֤י וְצַדִּיק֙ אַֽל־תַּהֲרֹ֔ג כִּ֥י לֹא־אַצְדִּ֖יק רָשָֽׁע׃

(7) Keep far from a false charge; do not bring death on those who are innocent and in the right, for I will not acquit the wrongdoer.

3 coisas que da para alterar a "verdade"

דאמר רב יהודה אמר שמואל בהני תלת מילי עבידי רבנן דמשנו במלייהו במסכת ובפוריא ובאושפיזא

Rav Yehuda says that Shmuel says: With regard to these three matters alone, it is normal for Sages to amend their statements and deviate from the truth: With regard to a tractate, And with regard to a bed, And he can lie with regard to a host [ushpiza],

במסכת - יש בידך מסכת פלוני סדורה בגירסא או לאו ואע"ג שסדורה היא לו יאמר לו לאו ומדת ענוה היא:

בפוריא - שימשת מטתך יאמר לאו מדת צניעות הוא:

באושפיזא - שאלוהו על אושפיזו אם קבלו בסבר פנים יפות ואמר לאו מדה טובה היא כדי שלא יקפצו בו בני אדם שאינן מהוגנין לבא תמיד עליו ויכלו את ממונו:

Regarding a tractate- someone asks you, "Do you know tractate so and so very well or not?" Answer him "No." This is the character trait of humility.

Regarding a bed - someone asks you whether you had relations with your spouse. Answer him "No." This is the character of modesty.

Regarding hospitality - If people ask him if his host received him well. Answer them "no." This is a good character trait in order to prevent undesirable guests from inundating him [the host] and exhausting his resources.

Até Ds altera a "verdade" e prol do Shalom!!!

וא"ר אילעא משום רבי אלעזר בר' שמעון מותר לו לאדם לשנות בדבר השלום שנאמר (בראשית נ, טז) אביך צוה וגו כה תאמרו ליוסף אנא שא נא וגו' ר' נתן אומר מצוה שנאמר (שמואל א טז, ב) ויאמר שמואל איך אלך ושמע שאול והרגני וגו' דבי רבי ישמעאל תנא גדול השלום שאף הקדוש ברוך הוא שינה בו דמעיקרא כתיב (בראשית יח, יב) ואדוני זקן ולבסוף כתיב ואני זקנתי:

And Rabbi Ile’a further said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: It is permitted for a person to depart from the truth in a matter that will bring peace, (...) It was taught in the school of Rabbi Yishmael: Great is peace, as even the Holy One, Blessed be He, departed from the truth for it. As, initially it is written that Sarah said of Abraham: “And my lord is old” (Genesis 18:12), and in the end it is written that God told Abraham that Sarah said: “And I am old” (Genesis 18:13). God adjusted Sarah’s words in order to spare Abraham hurt feelings that might lead Abraham and Sarah to quarrel.

(יב) וַתִּצְחַ֥ק שָׂרָ֖ה בְּקִרְבָּ֣הּ לֵאמֹ֑ר אַחֲרֵ֤י בְלֹתִי֙ הָֽיְתָה־לִּ֣י עֶדְנָ֔ה וַֽאדֹנִ֖י זָקֵֽן׃ (יג) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר ה' אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֑ם לָ֣מָּה זֶּה֩ צָחֲקָ֨ה שָׂרָ֜ה לֵאמֹ֗ר הַאַ֥ף אֻמְנָ֛ם אֵלֵ֖ד וַאֲנִ֥י זָקַֽנְתִּי׃

(12) And Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “Now that I am withered, am I to have enjoyment—with my husband so old?” (13) Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I in truth bear a child, old as I am?’
Noiva feia - Beit Hillel e Beit Shamai
כלה כמות שהיא ובית הלל אומרים כלה נאה וחסודה אמרו להן ב"ש לב"ה הרי שהיתה חיגרת או סומא אומרי' לה כלה נאה וחסודה והתורה אמרה (שמות כג, ז) מדבר שקר תרחק אמרו להם ב"ה לב"ש לדבריכם מי שלקח מקח רע מן השוק ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו הוי אומר ישבחנו בעיניו מכאן אמרו חכמים לעולם תהא דעתו של אדם מעורבת עם הבריות
One recites praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities. And Beit Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride. Beit Shammai said to Beit Hillel: In a case where the bride was lame or blind, does one say with regard to her: A fair and attractive bride? But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: According to your statement, with regard to one who acquired an inferior acquisition from the market, should another praise it and enhance its value in his eyes or condemn it and diminish its value in his eyes? You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. From here the Sages said: A person’s disposition should always be empathetic with mankind, and treat everyone courteously. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive.

Problema / Oportunidade

“No judô de vida, o que pareceria “contra” para o não iniciado é uma oportunidade incrível para utilizar a energia do outro, somá-la à nossa, e conseguir muito movimento e transformação de vida. Se nos opomos ao fluxo do outro, o que criamos é atrito, confronto ou mesmo a dor de dois corpos que se impõem resistência mutuamente.”

Excerpt From: Nilton Bonder. “A Cabala da inveja.”

Second City of Chicago

Yes, and too...

Um segundo para pensar

“Quando alguém nos disser algo que parece levantar profundas polêmicas, ou quando o sangue subir ao nosso rosto, evidenciando que “tocaram na tecla correta”, a que nos mobiliza, devemos resistir ao primeiro impulso. Isto porque não queremos nos precipitar numa medíocre reação confrontativa.”

Excerpt From: Nilton Bonder. “A Cabala da inveja.”

Segura ai!

בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר, אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קיט) מִכָּל מְלַמְּדַי הִשְׂכַּלְתִּי כִּי עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ שִׂיחָה לִּי. אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי טז) טוֹב אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם מִגִּבּוֹר וּמשֵׁל בְּרוּחוֹ מִלֹּכֵד עִיר. אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קכח) יְגִיעַ כַּפֶּיךָ כִּי תֹאכֵל אַשְׁרֶיךָ וְטוֹב לָךְ. אַשְׁרֶיךָ, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה. וְטוֹב לָךְ, לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמואל א ב) כִּי מְכַבְּדַי אֲכַבֵּד וּבֹזַי יֵקָלּוּ:

Ben Zoma said:Who is wise? He who learns from every man, as it is said: “From all who taught me have I gained understanding” (Psalms 119:99). Who is mighty? He who subdues his [evil] inclination, as it is said: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city” (Proverbs 16:3). Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot, as it is said: “You shall enjoy the fruit of your labors, you shall be happy and you shall prosper” (Psalms 128:2) “You shall be happy” in this world, “and you shall prosper” in the world to come. Who is he that is honored? He who honors his fellow human beings as it is said: “For I honor those that honor Me, but those who spurn Me shall be dishonored” (I Samuel 2:30).