Modesty

Being modest, as it is written (Devarim 23:15), “And your camp shall be holy,” and it is written (Micha 6:8), “And walking modestly with your God.” The sages said that no one is modest but he who is modest in the bathroom [Berachot 62a]…One must also be modest in marital relations; also in every matter one must act with modesty and not with peritzut [breaching standards].

Arrogance comes and disgrace will come, but with the modest (tzenu’im) is wisdom.

Thoughts of transgression are worse than transgression itself, and your proof is the odor of meat. The smell of roasting meat is more appetizing than actually eating the meat.

Thoughts of sin – regarding lust for women are more difficult to weaken one’s flesh (i.e., have a more deleterious effect on one’s health) than the act itself.

(1) A handsbreadth that is uncovered on a woman in a place where it is her practice to cover it, even if it his wife, it is forbidden to read the Shema in front of it. And some say that this is specifically with respect to his wife but with another woman even less than a handsbreadth. And it seems from the words of the Rosh that a handsbreadth on a woman is forbidden even to another woman, only by herself she is able to read [the Shema].

Rava said: Opposite feces covered only by a lantern-like covering, which is transparent, it is permitted to recite Shema. But opposite nakedness covered only by a lantern-like covering, it is prohibited to recite Shema; the Torah said: “And no indecent thing shall be seen in you” (Deuteronomy 23:15), and here it is seen.

It is forbidden for a person to intimate with his hands or feet or to hint with his eyes to any of the arayos (whores) or to laugh with her or to engage in light-headedness. And even to smell her perfume or to gaze at her beauty is forbidden. And one who engages in this deliberately receives lashes of rebelliousness. And one who gazes even at the little finger of a woman intending to derive sexual pleasure is comparable to one who looks at her genitalia. And even to hear the voice of an aryah or to look at her hair is forbidden.

Since he [Boaz] saw that she was pleasant and her deeds were beautiful, he began to inquire about her. All the women bend and gather [barley], but this one sits and gathers. All the women lift up their clothes [to ease gathering], but this one lowers her clothes. All the women flirt with the harvesters, but this one keeps herself modest…

§ And the mishna stated that a woman violates Jewish custom if she spins wool in the marketplace. Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: This means that she reveals her arms to people by raising her sleeves as she spins. Rav Ḥisda said that Avimi said: It is referring to when she spins with a red [vered] thread opposite her face to highlight her beauty, which entails an element of promiscuity. The mishna also stated another violation of Jewish custom: Or she speaks with every man she encounters. Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: This means that she flirts with young men.

But is it permitted to gaze upon a woman? The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita. The verse states: “And you shall keep yourself from every evil thing” (Deuteronomy 23:10); this teaches that a person should not gaze upon a beautiful woman, even if she is unmarried; and a person should not gaze upon a married woman, even if she is ugly; and a person should not gaze upon the colored garments of a woman; and a person should not gaze at a male donkey, at a female donkey, at a pig, at a sow, or at fowl, when they are mating ... Nor may one gaze at the colored garments of a woman, Rav Yehuda says that Shmuel says: This is the halakha even if they are spread on a wall, not only when they are being worn. Rav Pappa says: And the prohibition applies only when one knows their owner.

§ Rav says: One who intentionally causes himself an erection shall be ostracized. The Gemara suggests: And let Rav say simply that it is prohibited. The Gemara explains that it is proper to ostracize such a man, as he arouses the evil inclination upon himself.

An outer garment is called levusha, which is an acronym for lo busha, which means no shame, as one who is clothed is no longer ashamed. A broad outer garment is called gelima, an allusion to the fact that, by wearing it, one is transformed into an amorphous golem-like figure, as his limbs are indistiguishable. A beautiful coat is termed golta, which is an acronym for geli ve’eitiv, which means reveal, remove the coat, and only then I will sit, so that the coat will not get dirty.

One [i.e., a Jew] should not follow the customs of non-Jews (nor should one try to resemble them). One should not wear clothing that is particular to them [i.e., their culture]; one should not grow forelocks on one’s head like the forelocks on their heads; one should not shave the sides [of one’s head] and grow one’s hair in the middle of one’s head [like they do]; one should not shave the hair in front of one’s face from ear to ear and let one’s hair grow [in the back] [like they do];

Rather, one [i.e., a Jew] should be distinct from them [i.e., non-Jews] in one’s manner of dress and in all of one’s actions. But all of this [i.e., these restrictions] apply only to things that non-Jews do for the sake of licentiousness. For example, they are accustomed to wearing red clothing, which is official/princely clothing, and other clothing that is similarly immodest.

But things that they are accustomed to doing for a useful purpose—such as their custom for expert doctors to wear particular clothing so that the doctors will be recognized as specialists—one is permitted to wear [such clothing]. Similarly, things that are done out of respect or another reason, it is permitted [for one to do such things]. And therefore they said one may burn [the items of deceased] kings, and there is not in this “the ways of the Amorites.”