(יט) וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ אִ֣ישׁ אֶל־אָחִ֑יו הִנֵּ֗ה בַּ֛עַל הַחֲלֹמ֥וֹת הַלָּזֶ֖ה בָּֽא׃ (כ) וְעַתָּ֣ה ׀ לְכ֣וּ וְנַֽהַרְגֵ֗הוּ וְנַשְׁלִכֵ֙הוּ֙ בְּאַחַ֣ד הַבֹּר֔וֹת וְאָמַ֕רְנוּ חַיָּ֥ה רָעָ֖ה אֲכָלָ֑תְהוּ וְנִרְאֶ֕ה מַה־יִּהְי֖וּ חֲלֹמֹתָֽיו׃
(17) Joseph followed his brothers and found them at Dothan. (18) They saw him from afar, and before he came close to them they conspired to kill him. (19) They said to one another, “Here comes that dreamer! (20) Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; and we can say, ‘A savage beast devoured him.’ We shall see what comes of his dreams!”
(ד) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יוֹסֵ֧ף אֶל־אֶחָ֛יו גְּשׁוּ־נָ֥א אֵלַ֖י וַיִּגָּ֑שׁוּ וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אֲנִי֙ יוֹסֵ֣ף אֲחִיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־מְכַרְתֶּ֥ם אֹתִ֖י מִצְרָֽיְמָה׃ (ה) וְעַתָּ֣ה ׀ אַל־תֵּעָ֣צְב֗וּ וְאַל־יִ֙חַר֙ בְּעֵ֣ינֵיכֶ֔ם כִּֽי־מְכַרְתֶּ֥ם אֹתִ֖י הֵ֑נָּה כִּ֣י לְמִֽחְיָ֔ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֱלֹקִ֖ים לִפְנֵיכֶֽם׃ (ו) כִּי־זֶ֛ה שְׁנָתַ֥יִם הָרָעָ֖ב בְּקֶ֣רֶב הָאָ֑רֶץ וְעוֹד֙ חָמֵ֣שׁ שָׁנִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר אֵין־חָרִ֖ישׁ וְקָצִֽיר׃ (ז) וַיִּשְׁלָחֵ֤נִי אֱלֹקִים֙ לִפְנֵיכֶ֔ם לָשׂ֥וּם לָכֶ֛ם שְׁאֵרִ֖ית בָּאָ֑רֶץ וּלְהַחֲי֣וֹת לָכֶ֔ם לִפְלֵיטָ֖ה גְּדֹלָֽה׃ (ח) וְעַתָּ֗ה לֹֽא־אַתֶּ֞ם שְׁלַחְתֶּ֤ם אֹתִי֙ הֵ֔נָּה כִּ֖י הָאֱלֹקִ֑ים וַיְשִׂימֵ֨נִֽי לְאָ֜ב לְפַרְעֹ֗ה וּלְאָדוֹן֙ לְכׇל־בֵּית֔וֹ וּמֹשֵׁ֖ל בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃
(4) Then Joseph said to his brothers...
(5) Do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.
(6) It is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be no yield from tilling.
(7) God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance.
(8) So, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his household, and ruler over the whole land of Egypt.
(ח) ... לֹא־תְתַעֵ֣ב מִצְרִ֔י כִּי־גֵ֖ר הָיִ֥יתָ בְאַרְצֽוֹ׃
(8) ...You shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land.
לא תתעב מצרי THOU SHALT NOT ABHOR AN EGYPTIAN ...although they cast your male children into the river. And what is the reason that you should not abhor him utterly? Because they were your hosts in time of need (during Joseph’s reign when the neighbouring countries suffered from famine); therefore although they sinned against you do not abhor him
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks - Letting Go of Hate
To be free, you have to let go of hate. That is what Moses is saying. If they continued to hate their erstwhile enemies, Moses would have taken the Israelites out of Egypt, but he would not have taken Egypt out of the Israelites. Mentally, they would still be there, slaves to the past. They would still be in chains, not of metal but of the mind - and chains of the mind are the most constricting of all.
On January 27 1995, at the 50th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, I stood by the ruins of the gas chambers with my children...while I read my document of forgiveness and signed it. As I did that I felt a burden of pain was lifted from me. I was no longer in the grip of pain and hate; I was finally free.
The day I forgave the Nazis, privately I forgave my parents whom I hated all my life for not having saved me from Auschwitz. Children expect their parents to protect them, mine couldn’t.
And then I forgave myself for hating my parents.
Forgiveness is really nothing more than an act of self-healing and self-empowerment. I call it a miracle medicine. It is free, it works and has no side effects.
- Eva Mozes Kor, Auschwitz survivor
"I cannot and I don't want to forgive the killers of children; I ask God not to forgive."
- Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, when asked if he forgave the Nazis
Megillah 28a attributes R' Nehunya b. ha-Qana's longevity to his practice of forgiving all those that wronged him before going to sleep:
Rabbi Neḥunya said: I never allow the resentment caused by my fellow’s curse to go up with me upon my bed... When he would go to bed at night, he would first say: I forgive anyone who has vexed me.
Rambam in H. Deoth 6:9
It is pious behavior if a person who was wronged by a colleague would rather not admonish him or mention the matter at all because the person who wronged him was very boorish or because he was mentally disturbed, [provided] he forgives him totally without bearing any feelings of hate or admonishing him. The Torah is concerned only with those who carry feelings of hate.
We must judge others favorably, even the wicked (to help them from falling completely), and find in them some good point, and by doing so move them from the scale of guilt to the scale of merit [...]
the same applies with regard to oneself. One has to judge oneself favorably and find in oneself some remaining good point, in order to give oneself the strength to avoid falling completely, God forbid. On the contrary, one will revive oneself and bring joy to one's soul with the little bit of good one finds in oneself...
I hereby forgive anyone who has angered me, or sinned against me, either physically or financially, against my honor or anything that is mine, whether accidentally or intentionally, inadvertently or deliberately, by speech or by deed, by thought or by speculation, in this incarnation or in any other: any Israelite [is forgiven], may no person be punished on my account. May it be Your will, Adonoy, my God and God of my fathers, that I shall sin no more nor repeat my sins, neither shall I again anger You nor do what is wrong in Your eyes. The sins I have committed, erase in your abounding mercies, but not through suffering or severe illnesses. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable before You Adonoy, my Rock and my Redeemer.
"Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest being, something that needs our love." - Rainer Maria Rilke