The Wisdom of Hagar

Delivered on Rosh Hashana morning 5782

Shana tova!

We have just heard Genesis 21 where we hear the account of Sarah getting pregnant and giving birth to Isaac in her old age, the expulsion of Hagar and Ishmael from Abraham’s household, and a treaty is signed between Avimelech and Abraham. The story that stands out to me most is that of Hagar. This isn’t the first time we encounter Hagar in Torah, and much of what we know of her life is clouded by circumstances outside of her control.

We first meet Hagar in Genesis 16 where she is already part of Abraham and Sarah’s household. The midrash from Bereshite Rabba gives us an idea of how she came to be Sarah’s bondmaid. When Sarah and Abramah were sojourning in Egypt during a famine, Sarah was taken to the house of pharoah. She was later given Hagar, the daughter of pharaoh. In Genesis 16, Sarah gives Hagar to Abraham as a surrogate for Sarah’s barrenness. Sarah goes on to mistreat Hagar throughout her pregnancy. Hagar subsequently runs away and is visited by an angel who gives her reassurance to return home. In Genesis 21 we find Hagar witnessing the miracle of Sarah’s pregnancy and the birth of Isaac, only for Sarah to have Abraham expel Hagar and her son, Ishmael, from their household. Genesis 21:9-10 reads:

In almost all of these instances we see Hagar in situations that are beyond her control. She is passed around from person to person, given as a surrogate without her consent, mistreated, and cast out from her home with little food for her and her child. Certainly she had moments throughout all of this where she could exert some personal choice. We see a great act of agency as she flees from her painful circumstances, and still the story we have of her life is dominated by situations of things happening to her and not by her, a life of various trials and traumas.

The last account we have of Hagar is in the wilderness after she and Ishmael have been cast out of Abraham’s household. Their food and water have run out, and with her only child near death, Hagar places him safely under a bush and waits nearby for what seems like the inevitable to happen. How would you feel, spiritually, if you were in her situation? I imagine I would be numb, after a lifetime of pain and trauma it would be hard to connect with a spiritual experience. Sitting at a distance from her dying son, Hagar bursts into tears. As she weeps, Hagar hears the call of a heavenly messenger. This messenger has heard the cries of Ishmael and come to provide comfort and reassurance. Genesis 21:17-18 states:

But the next part is what I find to be most interesting:

Her eyes were opened. As Rabbi Jill Borodine points out, it wasn’t that the angel miraculously caused a well to appear where one had not been before, Hagar was able to see what had been before her the entire time. Despite the pain and trauma of her past and current circumstances, she was still able to be receptive to having this spiritual encounter that helped her open her eyes to possibilities she had not perceived. I think there’s a lot we can learn from Hagar’s experience.

This past year has been challenging for me. As someone who has lived alone for the majority of the pandemic, I’ve felt lasting impacts to the social, recreational, and spiritual aspects of my life. I’ve felt isolated, that my connections are far more shallow and strained now that they have primarily happened virtually for a year and a half. How I engage in self-care has completely changed, during a time when I need to care for myself the most. And as joyous as today is, I feel hints of sadness that we are not able to be physically gathered in community right now.

We are collectively living through times that invite despair, from COVID to heat waves and wildfires, we regularly encounter situations that have real impacts on our lives but that we did not cause and cannot remedy individually. That’s not to say that everything is beyond our control, we are always making choices that influence and impact our situation, but it’s hard to ignore those larger forces in our lives that are without our sphere of influence.

Hagar’s wisdom came in not pretending everything was alright, she allowed herself to feel the weight of her situation. The psalmist says,

It’s instinct for many of us to put on a brave face and pretend like everything is alright, even when it isn’t. We don’t want to burden others with our pain and grief, so we tuck it away, or bury it deep down, and walk along as though nothing were out of place. We must not hide from that which ails us, we have to acknowledge the pain, fear, exhaustion, whatever it may be, so that we can be tuned in to what we really need to help us on our way.

What I’d like to suggest is that even when we are in these tough situations, where things seem or are so far outside of our control that the only option we have is to sit and wait for our fears to play out, that we lean into that moment of pause and open ourselves to possibilities that are going unseen, to the nourishment that is already before us. Perhaps this will come in the form of a Divine encounter - which can look like a lot of things, from a spiritual revelation, to the counsel of a mentor or friend, or something else entirely - that helps us see the possibility that has always been there but that we couldn’t see in our moment of despair. But we can only get to this place by allowing ourselves to feel in the first place.

While this new year will almost certainly bring new challenges, the resurfacing of old challenges, and possibilities beyond our wildest imaginations, let us find moments to stop and open ourselves to what could be, to what is there already that we aren’t seeing. May we be blessed with the courage to feel deeply and allow our eyes to be opened.

L’shana tova