The Ultra-Chocolaty Haggadah

The Ultra-Chocolaty Haggadah

Order of the Seder:

1. Kadesh - Sanctify this holy day by blessing the first cup of chocolate milk.

2. Urchatz - Purify ourselves by washing our face.

3. Karpas - Dipping of the strawberry.

4. Yachatz - Break the chocolate matzah.

5. Maggid - Tell the story of how we became free to eat chocolate.

6. Rachatz - Wash our face again.

7. Motzi Matzah - Blessing over the sweet treats we are going to eat.

8. Maror - Bittersweet chocolate to remind us of the pain of our ancestors.

9. Korech - The Hillel S’more.

10. Shulchan Orech - The festive treats.

11. Tzafun - Finding the afikomen.

12. Barech - A prayer of thanks for the chocolate.

13. Hallel - Final praises.

14. Nirtzah - Conclusion.

The Chocolate Seder Plate

Before us tonight at our Chocolate Seder sits the festive Chocolate Seder Plate. Upon it are six chocolate symbols that capture the essence of the story of Passover – in a melt-in-your-mouth sort of way.

Z’roa – Drumstick

Representing the sacrificial lamb of Passover. The blood of the lamb was placed on the doorposts of Jewish homes, so that G-d would “pass over” those homes, sparing the children of the Jews from the tenth plague–the killing of the first born. It also represents the “mighty arm” of G-d that was used to bring us out of the Land of Egypt, chocolateless, into a land flowing with milk chocolate and honey.

Beytzah – Chocolate Egg

First of all, the egg represents the Festival Sacrifice brought to the Temple years ago at this season. Secondly, the roundness of the egg represents the continuous cycle of nature’s seasons.

Maror – Bitter Chocolate

This bitter chocolate represents the bitterness of our ancestors’ enslavement in Egypt. It helps us to remember that although our ancestors were delivered from Egypt, we are all still enslaved in our own personal Egypt.

Karpas – Strawberry

Like the sumptuous chocolate egg, the strawberry symbolizes the rebirth of the world at this spring season.

Charoset – Chocolate Mixture

A representation of the mortar that our ancestors used as slaves in Egypt.

Tapuz – Orange

In the days long ago when women were just beginning to be rabbis, Susannah Heschel was traveling in Florida, the Land of Oranges. One night she spoke at a synagogue about the emerging equality of women in Jewish life – as rabbis, teachers and students of Torah, synagogue presidents, and in all other ways.

After she spoke, a man arose in wrath, red with fury, and said, "A woman belongs on the bimah as much as an orange belongs on the Seder plate!"

So ever since that day, we place an orange on the Seder plate, for it belongs there as a symbol that women belong wherever Jews carry on a sacred life.

Kadesh – The First Cup

Remember, milk does the body good, giving us strong bones and a sparkling, healthy smile. Let us thank the cows for their many hours of patient giving. Let us not forget the cocoa trees that grow and give us the sweetness of this chocolate. And let our minds turn to those who on this day are not blessed with the taste of chocolate.

Together, we raise our first cup of chocolate milk and say:

Blessed art Thou, Eternal our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, creator of cocoa beans of the tree.

Blessed art Thou, Eternal our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who chose us from all congregants and exalted us among congregations by giving us this holy confection. With pleasure you gave us this festival for enjoyment; as this day – the feast of chocolate; the season of our bondage (to soap) you have chosen us to remember chocolate, the way it was.

And we sing: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehakol nihyeh bi-d’varo.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, at whose word all things come into being.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, King of the universe, for giving us life, for sustaining us, and for enabling us to reach this (chocolate) day. (Drink the first glass of chocolate milk.)

Urchatz – Wash the Face

Karpas – Dipping of the Greens

Karpas. Honoring the earth, which provides us with sustenance, nourishment, and chocolate.

(Dip strawberries in chocolate and say together:) Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam borei p’ree ha-adamah.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, King of the universe, Creator of the Fruits of the Earth. (Eat the dipped strawberry.)

Yachatz – Break the Middle Matzah

(We break the Middle Matzah into two pieces. We wrap and set aside the larger piece as the Afikomen, the dessert Matzah to be eaten at the end of our meal.)

Maggid – Tell the Story

Ha Lachma Anya – This is the chocolate of affliction that our forefathers used in South America. All who have a craving, let them come and eat, because man, this stuff is good. All who are needy, let them come and enjoy, because sometimes chocolate can comfort you like nothing else can. Now we are here, hopefully next year we will be in Hershey Park. Now we are thin – next year, if we eat all that is planned, we will be fat. (Fill cups with chocolate milk for the second time).

The Four Questions

Mah nishtanah ha-laila hazeh mikol ha-leilot? Why is this night different from all other nights?

On all other nights we eat chocolate chip cookies and chocolate covered matzah.Why on this night do we only eat chocolate matzah?

On all other nights we eat all kinds of chocolate.Why on this night do we eat only bittersweet chocolate?

On all other nights we do not dip our sweets even once.Why on this night do we dip them twice?

On all other nights we eat complete, well-balanced meals. Why on this nightare the four food groups Light, Dark, Milk, and Semi-Sweet?

We begin to answer: This night is different from all other nights because once we had no chocolate, but G-d, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, showed us the cocoa bean. If G-d had not shown us the cocoa bean, then we, and our children, would never know the delights of eating chocolate, and would still be without chocolate. This night is also different because once we ate many desserts, but now we eat only chocolate. Praised be G-d who gave the secret of the cocoa bean to the people of Israel. Praised be G-d.

The Four Children

Blessed is G-d, who bestowed chocolate upon all people and gave us the Law. The Torah commands us to teach our children about the delights of sweet freedom and chocolate. The Talmud suggests four different ways children might react.

The Milk Chocolate Child might ask: “What is the meaning of these chocolate eating customs in which WE engage in, which the Lord has commanded us to observe?” We should explain to this child in great detail all the laws and customs surrounding the custom of eating chocolate.

The Vanilla Child might ask: “What is the meaning of these evil chocolate eating customs in which YOU engage in, which the Lord has commanded you to observe?” Since this child does not want to be included in the celebration, we must answer harshly, “I eat this chocolate because of what G-d did for me when I was in Egypt. Had you been there, you would have been sent to your room with NO chocolate to eat!”

The Dark Chocolate Child: “What is all this? What is all this chocolate?” You shall explain to this child the ingredients of the chocolate and teach her/him how to make such treats.

The Chocolate Deprived Child: Alas, he is too chocolate deprived to even ask what this is, for he has (poor him), never experienced chocolate before. We must explain to this child that we observe the Festival of Sweet Freedom to remember that G-d has given us the sacred gift of the cocoa bean.

Retelling the Story

Tonight we remember the story of Passover with a chocolate twist. On this night, we remember the story of chocolate, which was brought to us by Columbus from the New World. By telling and retelling this story, we imagine ourselves in the place of our ancestors, who knew not of the greatness of chocolate. After it was introduced to Spain, G-d sent Cortez to Mexico to learn from the Aztecs about this precious gift of chocolate. G-d inspired us to mix sugar, vanilla and milk with the chocolate and sip it as a drink. The wonders of chocolate were spread to Belgium, Italy, Holland, England, France and Switzerland. Finally, G-d gave us Milton Hershey, who perfected chocolate and made it accessible to all.

The Ten Plagues

All this fun has its drawbacks – We spill ten drops of chocolate milk for the ten plagues:

1. Thirst

2. Zits

3. Obesity

4. Cavities

5. Indigestion

6. Nausea

7. Diarrhea

8. Diabetes

9. Regurgitation

10. Death of Milton Hershey

The Passover Symbols

According to the Sages, in telling the story of our receiving of the secret of the cocoa bean and chocolate, we must explain the three most important symbols. Without this, we have not fulfilled the purpose of the Seder.

Hershey Bars – We eat Hershey Bars to remind us that there is a place on Earth where even the lamp posts are shaped like chocolate kisses, and we pray for a time when every place on Earth will experience the joys of chocolate.

Chocolate Matzah – We eat chocolate matzah to remind us how our ancestors did not have time to put chocolate on matzah, but we do. Bittersweet Chocolate – We eat bittersweet chocolate to remind us that life, even with chocolate, isn’t always sweet.

Drink second cup of milk

Blessed art Thou, Eternal our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, creator of cocoa beans of the tree, who brought us here today to eat chocolate and creates chocolate milk. Adonai our G-d, help us celebrate future holidays and festivals with sweetness, joy, and chocolate.

And we sing: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehakol nihyeh bi-d’varo.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, at whose word all things come into being. (Drink the second glass of chocolate milk.)

Rachatz – Wash the Face

We Praise you, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who has made us holy by your Mitzvot and commanded us to wash our faces after we have eaten a lot of chocolate so we don’t look messy.

Motzi Matzah – Eat the Chocolate Matzah

(Lift three chocolate matzahs and say:) Praised be You, Creator of sweets and calories, who has sanctified us by commanding our sweet tooth to eat of this delicacy.

Maror - Eat the Bittersweet Chocolate

We dip the bittersweet chocolate into the chocolate charoset to remind ourselves of a time when our ancestors only had bittersweet chocolate, but no milk chocolate or M&Ms.

Together we say: We praise You, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who commands us to eat the Bittersweet chocolate. (Dip some bittersweet chocolate into the chocolate mix and eat them together.)

Korech - The Hillel S’more

According to the great sage Hillel, as a reminder of the Temple in Jerusalem, we combine a piece of this third matzah with marshmallow fluff, the chocolate nut mixture (charoset) and the bittersweet chocolate (maror) and eat the resulting sandwich.

(Combine matzah, chocolate nut mixture, bittersweet chocolate and marshmallow and eat them)

Shulchan Orech – Festive Treats

Tzafun - Finding the Afikomen

All search for the hidden afikomen. When it is found and returned to the leader, a small piece is distributed to each person to eat.

Barech - Grace after Sweets

(pour third cup of chocolate milk)

We praise you G-d, who in goodness, mercy and kindness, gives chocolate to the world. Your love for us endures forever. May the Holy One, who makes chocolate for the heavens, make chocolate for us, for Israel and all the world.

We sing: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehakol nihyeh bi-d’varo.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, at whose word all things come into being. (Drink the third glass of chocolate milk.)

(Pour Milton’s Cup)

As our seder comes to a close, we set up the glass of chocolate milk to welcome Milton Hershey, the founder of Hershey Chocolate. We open the door to greet our honored guest and invite him to join our chocolate seder. Milton Hershey is our hope for the future. We pray that he will bring chocolate, fruit of the cocoa bean, to all the world. (Pour the fourth cup of chocolate milk.)

Hallel (To the tune of “Dayenu”)

Eat more, eat more, eat more chocolate,

Eat more, eat more, yummy chocolate

Yummy chocolate, fudge and walnuts, dayenu.

Candy, nuts and ice cream sodas,

Chocolate bars and cherry colas,

Ice cream, fudge, with whipped cream topping, dayenu.

Nirtzah - Conclusion

I am ready to fulfill the commandment of drinking the last of the Four Cups. This recalls G-d’s promise to the people Israel, as it says, “Drink milk with chocolate so you will not be thirsty as you were before I took you out of the land of no-milk”.

We sing: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehakol nihyeh bi-d’varo.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, at whose word all things come into being. (Drink the fourth glass of chocolate milk.)

You are pure, dwelling on high, raise up your chocolateless people. Soon leadthe thirsty of your flock redeemed to candy land with joyous song.

NEXT YEAR IN HERSHEY PARK!

Chag Sameach!

By: David Schwartz, St. Louis Hillel, 2006 Adapted from “Chocolate Seder” by Chattanooga Religious School; St. Louis Hillel’s “Chocolate Seder Haggadah” by Barry Czeisler and Corey Helfand, “A Chocolate Passover Haggadah” by Ithaca College’s Adam Schaffer, UC Berkeley Hillel’s “A Chocolate Passover Haggadah” by Danielle Feldman; USY’s “Chocolate Seder” program by Rachel Grossman and Stephanie Simon from METNY; Melanie Mayand Ellen Zuskin’s compilation; the Hillel Council of New England’s “Chocolate Seder Haggadah” by Ailene S. Gerhardt, and the Maxwell House Haggadah.