Chapter 3: Harm in the Public Square

(9) With regard to one who says: I will sin and then I will repent, I will sin and I will repent, Heaven does not provide him the opportunity to repent, and he will remain a sinner all his days. With regard to one who says: I will sin and Yom Kippur will atone for my sins, Yom Kippur does not atone for his sins. Furthermore, for transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones; however, for transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person. Similarly, Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya taught that point from the verse: “From all your sins you shall be cleansed before the Lord” (Leviticus 16:30). For transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones; however, for transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person. In conclusion, Rabbi Akiva said: How fortunate are you, Israel; before Whom are you purified, and Who purifies you? It is your Father in Heaven, as it is stated: “And I will sprinkle purifying water upon you, and you shall be purified” (Ezekiel 36:25). And it says: “The ritual bath of Israel is God” (Jeremiah 17:13). Just as a ritual bath purifies the impure, so too, the Holy One, Blessed be He, purifies Israel.

MISHNAH: Even though one did pay, they will not be forgiven unless they asks for forgiveness, as it is said: “Now return the man’s wife since he is a prophet.” From where that the person asked to forgive shall not be cruel? It is said: “Abraham prayed to the Omnipotent, etc.” HALAKHAH: “Even though they did pay,” etc. [And so you find with Job’s friends. “Now yourselves take seven bulls and seven rams, etc.” “Eliphas the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Ṣophar the Naamite went and did, etc.” What does it say at the end? “The Eternal changed Job’s fortunes.” When? “When he was praying for his neighbor, etc.” “The Eternal doubled everything that Job had had.”] It was stated: Rebbi Jehudah says in the name of Rabban Gamliel. Since it says that “He will give you mercy etc.”, let the following be a sign in your hand: Whenever that you show mercy, the Omnipresent will have mercy on you. If you do not show mercy, the Omnipresent will not have mercy on you. Rav said: If a person misbehaved towards another and asked for pardon but the other did not respond, let him assemble a row of people and ask for pardon, as it is written: “Form a row of men, etc.” If he does so, what is written there? “He redeemed his soul from the pit, not to go to destruction etc.” Rebbi Yose said, that is if he did not defame, but the defamer is never pardoned.

(1) “A man should appease his friend (i.e., a person whom he wronged) on the Eve of Yom Kippur” - Containing four paragraphs.
Yom Kippur does not atone for sins between a man and his comrad (fellow-man) until he conciliates him. Even if he angered him only in words, he is required to appease him (his fellow-man). And if at first he is not pacified, he (must) return and go to him a second and third time. Each time he should take three men with him, and if on the third time he does not become reconciled he (no longer) is obligated to him, (nevertheless afterwards he should say before ten (people) that he did request forgiveness from him), (מרדכי דיומא ומהרי״ל). If he (i.e., the person who was wronged) was his teacher, he must go to him many times until he becomes appeased.
Hagah: The person to forgive should not be cruel by refusing forgiveness (to the one seeking forgiveness), (מהרי״ל), unless his intent is for the good of the one requesting forgiveness, (גמרא דיומא). But if one caused him (the wronged person) a bad name, there is no necessity in forgiving him, (מרדכי וסמ״ק והגה״מ פ״ב מהלכות תשובה ומהרי״ו).

(2) If a man against whom he sinned died, (the man who sinned) brings ten people and let them stand on his (the dead man’s) grave and he (the sinner) says, “I have sinned against the God of Israel, and against this “person” who I sinned against him,” (and it was customary to seek forgiveness on the Eve of Yom Kippur), (מרדכי דיומא).

(3) Early rabbinic authorities decreed, coupled with “חרם”, ban, that the living should not slander the dead.

(4) One may immerse (inaritual bath) and accept lashes (to effect atonement) whenever desired provided that it is before nightfall, but one does not bless over the immersion.
Hagah: One needs to immerse one time without a confession because of pollution (urinary emmission). The same holds true if one pours nine kavs of water (upon himself), (if the immersion pains him, (מגן אברהם),), this is also effective, (מהרי״ו וכל בו ותשב״צ). One who incurs a death between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, it is permissible to wash and to immerse on the Eve of Yom Kippur because Yom Kippur cancels the “shiva”, (the seven day mourning period), (מהרי״ל, הלכות שמחות). Even though it is customary not to wash (bath) during the entire “sheloshim”, (thirty day mourning period), a commanded immersion is permitted, (דעת עצמו).

(1) Twenty-four different transgressions withhold the acceptance of repentance, four of these are of great iniquity, and whosoever commits one of them, the Holy One, blessed is He! provides no means for him to repent, measured, of course, with the monstrosity of his sin. They are: (1) he who leads the public to sin, by which is also included one who witholds the public from performing a commandment; (2) he who diverts his neighbor from the good path to an evil one, for instance, a seducer and an enticer; (3) he who beholds his son cultivating bad habits and does not protest against it, for, his son being under his control, probably, by having protested, he could have separated him therefrom, as a consequence whereof it is as if he himself led him to sin; by which is also included the iniquity of every one who has a possibility to protest against others, whether individuals or many, and does not protest against them but leaves them to their stumbling; (4) he who says: "I will sin and repent"; by which is also included one who says: "I will sin and the Day of Atonement will atone".

(6) If one man commit a sin against another man, the one sinned against shall not remain in silent hate against the sinner, as it is said of the wicked: "And Absalom spoke unto Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon" (Second Samuel. 13.22); but, on the contrary, it is obligatory upon him to make known to him and say unto him: "Why have you done to me thus and such, and wherefore have you sinned against me in that particular matter?"; for, it is said: "And thou shalt indeed rebuke thy neighbor" (Lev. 19.17). And, if the sinner did repent and begged to be forgiven by him, he must forgive him; and in doing so he should not be cruel, for it is said: "And Abraham prayed unto God" (Gen. 20.17).

(7) He who beholds his fellow stooping to sin or following an unrighteous path, is obliged to return him toward the good, and to let him know that he is actually sinning against himself in pursuing wicked deeds for, it is said: "And thou shalt indeed rebuke thy neighbor" (Lev. 19.17). He who rebukes his fellow, whether it be regarding a sin committed between man and man, or whether it be regarding matters between man and God, it is essential that the rebuke be administered only between them both; and he shall speak to him calmly, employing soft language, telling him that he does not speak of it to him, save for his own good, to bring him to a life in the world to come. If he receive it attentively from him, it is well; if not, he should rebuke him a second, even a third time. So is the constant duty of a man to continue to rebuke his fellow, even until the sinner strike him, and say unto him: "I will not listen". He in whose power it is to prevent sin and does not take the means to prevent it, he himself is ultimately overtaken by their sin, since it was possible for him to prevent them.

(8) He who rebukes a friend, at the beginning, no hard words should be used against him to shame him, for it is said: "And thou shalt bear no sin upon him" (Lev. 19.17). Thus did the wise men say: "Understand it not by rebuking him thou mayest cause his countenance to change expression; for, it is said: 'And thou shalt bear no sin upon him'" (Ibid.; Arakin, 16b); herefrom we learn that it is forbidden to put an Israelite to shame, needless to say publicly. Although he who does put his fellow to shame is not flogged, it is a grievous sin. Even so did the wise men say: "He who publicly puts his fellow's countenance to shame has no share in the world to come" (Pirke Abot, 3.11). A man is, therefore obliged to guard himself against putting his fellow to shame publicly, regardless of whether he be young or old; not to call him by a name of which he feels ashamed, nor tell aught in his presence of which he is ashamed. However, all these refer to matters touching the relationship between man and man; but if it concern heavenly matters, if the sinner does not repent after being rebuked privately, he should be shamed publicly, and his sin should be proclaimed, and harsh words should be used in his presence, and he should be shamed and cursed till he repent and take up the good path, even as all of the prophets in Israel did with the wicked.

(5) The penitent who confesses publicly is praiseworthy, and it is commendable for him to let the public know his iniquities, and to reveal the sins between himself and his neighbor to others, saying to them: "Truly, I have sinned against that man, and I have wronged him thus and such, but, behold me this day, I repent and am remorseful". But he, who is arrogant and reveals not but covers up his sins, is not a wholehearted penitent, of whom it is said: "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper" (Prov. 28.13). But that is saying solely concerning sins between man and man, but sins between man and God, the penitent need not make public, on the contrary it would be impudent of him to reveal them. He, however, should repent before God, blessed is he! and before Him he should detail his sins; and then make public confession upon them by simply saying: "I have sinned". Such procedure is, indeed, for his own good, even as it is said: "Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered (Ps. 32.1).

(4) Among the ways of repentance are, for the penitent to continue to cry out in tearful supplication before the Name, to bestow alms according to his means, and to distance himself exceedingly from the thing wherein he sinned, to have his identity changed, as if saying: "I am now another person, and not that person who perpetrated those misdeeds", to completely change his conduct for the good and straight path, and to exile himself from his place of residence, for exile atones iniquity, because it leads him to submissiveness and to be meek and humble-spirited.