“The rabbis realized that it is possible to observe all 613 commandments and still be a not very nice person. Ramban, 13th century Bible commentator, had an expression for this: “a scoundrel who doesn’t violate the Torah” (commentary on Lev. 19:1). You could be nasty and unkind without violating any of the Torah laws. There has been a strand within traditional Judaism that has tried to correct for this possibility by stressing good character traits… In the nineteenth century, Mussar became more than just a genre of ethical Jewish literature but a movement within Jewish life. Nearly destroyed during the Holocaust, Mussar has had a revival in the last decades.
A “new” category of commandments
“I want to re-contextualize the practice of Mussar by elevating its importance in the tradition. The rabbis defined one group of commandments that focused on God (mitzvot bein adam le-makom) and another group on relations between human beings (mitzvot bein adam le-havero). There is a little-known third category in the traditional literature that referred to commandments between a person and him/her self (mitzvot bein adam l’atzmo). There would be now three prongs of religious life—our relationship with God and/or the universe, our relationship with other people, and our relationship with our inner qualities. This emphasis on the self seems particularly appropriate in the modern world, which has been so profoundly transformed by psychology.” p. 191-192
We saw in the chapter on social justice that some traditional authorities suggested that the quality of caring for those of need should be cultivated not just done out of obligation. Let us look at open heartedness, gratitude and satisfaction as examples of other inner qualities to be cultivated.
QUESTIONS: Did you get any insights about your qualities, both good and bad, reading this chapter? Did the example of hospitality/open heartedness illustrate the importance of these categories? Why do you think the rabbis said that hospitality is greater than greeting the Shekhinah/God’s presence?
Do you have a gratitude practice? If yes, what is its impact on you? If not, what gets in the way of having one?
Let’s examine more closely the quality of satisfaction and its opposite envy. While working on the book, it struck me odd that “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house” was the last of the Ten Commandments. We can agree that coveting is not a good thing but does it really belong with don’t steal or kill?
Samson Raphael Hirsch, a19th century rabbinic scholar, maintained that wanting things is not intrinsically a bad thing. With that desire, humans have settled the world, built cities, and created culture. While animals desire only what they need to survive, humans are created with desires beyond survival. Yet these desires can also lead to unrestrained yearnings. As he wrote:
“Unspeakably frightful are the consequences of ta’avah (desire) when it exceeds the bounds of the necessary and good. It destroys all happiness in life…What you have has no value for you; only what is not yet yours attracts you, and this, too, loses its value on being acquired…. Where ta’avah (desire) rules, mitzvah must give way, for the later binds you not for your own benefit but for that of others; and mishpat (justice) also must give way since it sets up the rights of others as the limit to your pursuit of wealth…Value your life not according to possessions and enjoyments, but according to good deeds… It is not how much or how little you have that makes you great or small, but how much or how little you are with what you have, how much or little you utilize what has been lent to you for action in the service of God—that is what makes you great or small” (Horeb)
Yet, it is not asceticism that is being promoted here as this text teaches:
In the world-to-come a person will be asked to give an account for that which, being excellent to eat, she gazed at and did not eat. (Jerusalem Talmud, Kiddushin, end).
Shlomo ibn Gabirol (11th century poet and philosopher) wrote:
Who seeks more than he needs, hinders himself from enjoying what he has. Seek what you need and give up what you don’t need. For in giving up what you don’t need, you’ll learn what you really do need. (Mivhar hapeninim 155, 161).
The Gaon of Vilna (18th century Talmudic scholar in Even sheleimah) wrote that there are three levels of satisfaction:
The first is not to pursue something bigger and better. In this first level you retain a sense of something missing, but you push yourself to let it go.
The second level is based on a rabbinic saying—who is wealthy? Someone who is happy with what he has (hasameah be-helko Ethics of our Ancestors 4:1). Alan Morinis, a contemporary Mussar teacher, suggests that satisfaction is not to get to a place where you are resigned with what you have, but to be happy with what you have.
The third level is “I have everything –kol”. Even when we are happy with what we have, there can still be a sense that something is missing. This level conveys a sense of completeness. I feel satiated. I feel full.
Sharon Salzberg, a contemporary spirituality teacher, writes: “A loving heart will give you more happiness than anything you crave.”
I find the Buddhist notion of near and far enemies to qualities to be cultivated very illuminating. A near enemy could easily be mistaken for the quality. For example, compassion’s far enemy is indifference, but its near enemy is pity. I haven’t seen the quality of satisfaction on the Buddhist list, but clearly envy is its far enemy. I think the near enemy of satisfaction, is convincing yourself that you don’t really need (or deserve?) the thing you were envying.
QUESTIONS: How would you put these texts together in order to avoid envy and experience satisfaction?
HOMEWORK: Read core principle #9 p. 201-212