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What is the nature of a vow?
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What power does language have?
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How do we lose agency through a vow that we make?
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When a vow is in place, is there any amount of spaciousness that is created as well?
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How does the importance of caring for others play a role in vows of this nature?
(ז) הַמֻּדָּר הֲנָאָה מֵחֲבֵרוֹ וְאֵין לוֹ מַה יֹּאכַל, הוֹלֵךְ אֵצֶל הַחֶנְוָנִי וְאוֹמֵר, אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי מֻדָּר מִמֶּנִּי הֲנָאָה וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה, וְהוּא נוֹתֵן לוֹ וּבָא וְנוֹטֵל מִזֶּה. הָיָה בֵיתוֹ לִבְנוֹת, גְּדֵרוֹ לִגְדֹּר, שָׂדֵהוּ לִקְצֹר, הוֹלֵךְ אֵצֶל הַפּוֹעֲלִים וְאוֹמֵר, אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי מֻדָּר מִמֶּנִּי הֲנָאָה וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה. הֵם עוֹשִׂין עִמּוֹ, וּבָאִין וְנוֹטְלִין שָׂכָר מִזֶּה:
(7) The one who is forbidden by a vow to gain any benefit from their neighbor/friend and has nothing to eat - the neighbor may go to the shopkeeper and say, "So-and-so is forbidden by a vow to gain benefit from me, and I don't know what to do." And the shopkeeper may give food to the person forbidden by a vow and then the shopkeeper may come and receive payment from the neighbor.
If the person forbidden by a vow to gain any benefit from their neighbor was building one's house, or setting up their fence, or reaping from their fields - the neighbor may go to the laborers and say, "So-and-so is forbidden by a vow to gain benefit from me, and I don't know what to do." And the laborers may do the work with the one forbidden by a vow and then the laborers may come and receive payment from the neighbor.
- Can you put into your own words what’s happening in these 2 scenarios we’re given in this mishna?
- How do you understand the nature of a vow according to this mishnah?
- Where are constraints present in this mishnah? Where is spaciousness present?
- Where does communal care come into play?
(ח) הָיוּ מְהַלְּכִין בַּדֶּרֶךְ, וְאֵין לוֹ מַה יֹּאכַל, נוֹתֵן לְאַחֵר לְשׁוּם מַתָּנָה וְהַלָּה מֻתָּר בָּהּ. אִם אֵין עִמָּהֶם אַחֵר, מַנִּיחַ עַל הַסֶּלַע אוֹ עַל הַגָּדֵר וְאוֹמֵר, הֲרֵי הֵן מֻפְקָרִים לְכָל מִי שֶׁיַּחְפֹּץ, וְהַלָּה נוֹטֵל וְאוֹכֵל. וְרַבִּי יוֹסֵי אוֹסֵר:
(8) If the person forbidden by a vow to gain benefit from one's neighbor and their neighbor were walking on the road and it was determined the person forbidden by a vow has nothing to eat - the neighbor may give food to another person as a gift, which then the person forbidden by a vow is permitted to accept. If there is not another person with them, the neighbor may place it upon a boulder or upon a gate/wall and say, "Here - these are declared free for all who desire" and the person forbidden by a vow may receive and eat the food. But, Rabbi Yossi forbids this.
- Can you put into your own words what’s happening with this scenario?
- Who has agency in this scenario?
- Are constraints and/or spaciousness present?
- What do you think Rabbi Yossi forbids this type of action?
- Do you agree with him?
- Do you agree with him?
You're 17-years-old and you're about to enter your senior year of high school. You spent your summer working at the local library, reading as much as possible, and found yourself particularly drawn to the subject of art history. The library offered free drawing courses as well which meant if you didn't have a book in your hand, you had your pencil and sketchbook. You've decided the best path for you after high school is to spend a gap year in Europe, experiencing the art you've studied first hand. And, you know in your heart of hearts, you'll likely never end up in college, instead pursuing life as a nomadic artist and art historian.
When you go to share this with your parents, they're furious! They've been saving your entire life to help send you to college and give you the opportunity they never had, as neither of them were able to pursue higher education. Your parents tell you that if you choose to go on this gap year, you must promise to attend college afterward. You're not willing to make that promise, nor are you willing to follow along with what they believe "is best" for you. You say to your parents: "I vow I will never, ever accept any type of support from you! You just don't get me and you never will."
- What's happening in this scenario? What is the nature of the vow you made?
- With this vow in place, what agency have you lost? What agency have your parents lost?
- Describe the emotions that might have led you to use such powerful language.
- How might your parents have felt in being forced into this vow?
- Scenario - With this vow in place, your parents tell you in 2 months, they will be charging you for monthly rent, expenses for any groceries you consume, and expect you to cover the cost of any expenses you incur (ex. buying clothes, cleaning supplies for your home, meals at school, etc.). They also let you know that they will not give you any financial support after you graduate and the start of your gap year.
- Does this seem fair?
- How might your parents feel putting these constraints in place?
- What if you're not able to make your rent payment - can you find any spaciousness within this vow? Might your parents be able to find spaciousness? If so, where?
- How does honoring one's parents come into play in this scenario? What about the duties of parents to care for their children?
