Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name
-Gary Portnoy
(ד) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה רְצוֹנוֹ כִרְצוֹנְךָ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה רְצוֹנְךָ כִרְצוֹנוֹ. בַּטֵּל רְצוֹנְךָ מִפְּנֵי רְצוֹנוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּבַטֵּל רְצוֹן אֲחֵרִים מִפְּנֵי רְצוֹנֶךָ. הִלֵּל אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּפְרֹשׁ מִן הַצִּבּוּר, וְאַל תַּאֲמִין בְּעַצְמְךָ עַד יוֹם מוֹתְךָ, וְאַל תָּדִין אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ, וְאַל תֹּאמַר דָּבָר שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לִשְׁמֹעַ, שֶׁסּוֹפוֹ לְהִשָּׁמַע. וְאַל תֹּאמַר לִכְשֶׁאִפָּנֶה אֶשְׁנֶה, שֶׁמָּא לֹא תִפָּנֶה:
Hillel said: do not separate yourself from the community, Do not trust in yourself until the day of your death, Do not judge your fellow man until you have reached his place. Do not say something that cannot be understood [trusting] that in the end it will be understood. Say not: ‘when I shall have leisure I shall study;’ perhaps you will not have leisure.
Ahad Ha'Am (Rabbi Asher Zvi Hirsch Ginsberg; 1856-1927, Kiev/Israel)
When the individual values the community as their own life and strives after its happiness as though it were their individual well-being, they find satisfaction and no longer feel so keenly any bitterness of their individual existence, because they see the greater good.
Tiferet Yisrael on Pirkei Avot 2:4 (Rabbi Israel Lipschitz; 1782-1860, Germany)
This is what the Sage is saying: One who knows the correct (middah) value of blending together confidence for the community with humility, one who can suitably balance measure for measure, at the appropriate time, in the appropriate place, with the appropriate person -- that is a person who is accomplished and should be loved and always respected.
And it is taught in a baraita: A Torah scholar is not permitted to reside in any city that does not have these ten things: A court that has the authority to flog and punish transgressors; and a charity fund for which monies are collected by two people and distributed by three, as required by halakha. This leads to a requirement for another three people in the city. And a synagogue; and a bathhouse; and a public bathroom; a doctor; and a bloodletter; and a scribe [velavlar] to write sacred scrolls and necessary documents; and a ritual slaughterer; and a teacher of young children.
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
Yehoshua ben Perachia says, "Make for yourself a mentor, acquire for yourself a friend and judge every person as meritorious."
Avot d'Rabbi Nassan (c.650 - c.950 CE)
How does one acquire a friend? A person should acquire a friend for himself by eating and drinking with him, by studying Torah and debating with him, by lodging with him, by sharing private thoughts with him-thoughts regarding Torah and life. And when they debate matters of Torah and importance, his friend will respond to him, and thus the bonds of friendship and truth will be strengthened."
Rabbi David S. Widsor
The story is told of the long-time congregant who resigned her membership one winter. The rabbi went to her house to find out why. She invited him to sit before the fireplace and talk. “I can be Jewish on my own,” she said. “It’s easy enough to do these days.” The rabbi said nothing for a minute, then took the fire tongs and drew out from the fire a single ember. He placed it on the edge of the fireplace away from the rest of the fire. As the rabbi and the woman watched, the ember’s flame slowly diminished until it went out in a hiss of smoke. “Ok,” said the woman, “I’ll be back in shul next week.”