Illustration Credit: Rebecca Kerzner
Halakhah הֲלָכָה
How can a relationship be repaired when one person has hurt another?
The Mishnah teaches many laws about personal injury—how much you have to pay if you cause permanent damage to someone else. At the end of this, the Mishnah discusses other ways to make things better.
אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא נוֹתֵן לוֹ, אֵין נִמְחָל לוֹ עַד שֶׁיְּבַקֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "וְעַתָּה הָשֵׁב אֵשֶׁת…" (בראשית כ:ז).
וּמִנַּיִן שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא הַמּוֹחֵל אַכְזָרִי? שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "וַיִּתְפַּלֵּל אַבְרָהָם אֶל הָאֱלֹקִים וַיִּרְפָּא אֱלֹקִים אֶת אֲבִימֶלֶךְ."
If you cause damage, you’re not forgiven - even if you have already paid for it - until you say sorry and ask forgiveness. As it is said, “Now, return Sarah to Avraham because he is a prophet and will pray on your behalf…” (Bereishit 20:7).
And how do we know that someone who doesn’t forgive is being cruel? As it is said, “Avraham prayed to God and God healed Avimelekh” (Bereishit 20:17).
- Look at the story of Avraham, Sarah, and Avimelekh in Bereishit 20. What did Avimelekh do that hurt Avraham? How did Avimelekh fix the situation?
- How does the Mishnah know that Avraham forgave Avimelekh?
- Why is it so important to say sorry and ask for forgiveness, even after you pay for damage that you caused? Why isn’t it enough to just pay for the damage?
- What’s cruel about refusing to forgive a person who’s genuinely saying sorry to you? What should you do if it feels hard to forgive someone when they ask for your forgiveness?
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