Amen Effect -- chapter 6: HOLD the HEALERS sheet 1: Visiting the Sick

וַיֵּרָ֤א אֵלָיו֙ ה' בְּאֵלֹנֵ֖י מַמְרֵ֑א וְה֛וּא יֹשֵׁ֥ב פֶּֽתַח־הָאֹ֖הֶל כְּחֹ֥ם הַיּֽוֹם׃

God appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot.

וירא אליו. לְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה. אָמַר רַבִּי חָמָא בַּר חֲנִינָא, יוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי לְמִילָתוֹ הָיָה, וּבָא הַקָּבָּ"ה וְשָׁאַל בִּשְׁלוֹמוֹ (בבא מציעא פ"ו):

God appeared to him: to visit the sick man. R. Hama the son of Hanina said: it was the third day after his circumcision and the Holy Blessed One came and enquired after the state of his health (Bava Metzia 86b)

(בראשית יח, א) וירא אליו ה' באלוני ממרא והוא יושב פתח האוהל כחום היום מאי כחום היום אמר רבי חמא בר' חנינא אותו היום יום שלישי של מילה של אברהם היה ובא הקב"ה לשאול באברהם הוציא הקב"ה חמה מנרתיקה כדי שלא יטריח אותו צדיק באורחים שדריה לאליעזר למיפק לברא נפק ולא אשכח אמר לא מהימנא לך... נפק איהו חזייה להקדוש ברוך הוא דקאי אבבא...

§ The Gemara expounds another verse involving Abraham: “And the Lord appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre, as he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day” (Genesis 18:1). The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of “the heat of the day”? Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: That day was the third day after Abraham’s circumcision, and the Holy Blessed One came to inquire about the well-being of Abraham. The Holy Blessed One removed the sun from its sheath in order not to bother that righteous one with guests, i.e., God made it extremely hot that day to allow Abraham to recover from his circumcision, as he would not be troubled by passing travelers whom he would invite into his tent. Despite the intense heat, Abraham wanted to invite guests. He sent Eliezer his servant to go outside to see if there were any passersby. Eliezer went out but did not find anyone. Abraham said to him: I do not believe you... The Gemara continues: Abraham himself went out and saw the Holy Blessed One standing at the entrance to his tent.

וְאָמַר לָהֶן הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְמַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת: בּוֹאוּ וּנְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה. אָמְרוּ לוֹ: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָה אֱנוֹשׁ וַתֵּדָעֵהוּ בֶּן אָדָם וַתְּחַשְּׁבֵהוּ. אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ לִמְקוֹם הַטִּנֹפֶת לְמָקוֹם שֶׁל דָּם וְשֶׁל שֶׁקֶץ וְסִרְיוּת. אָמַר לָהֶם: חַיֵּיכֶם, עָרֵב עָלַי אוֹתוֹ דָם שֶׁל עֲרָלוֹת מִמּוֹר וּלְבוֹנָה. וְכֵן שְׁלֹמֹה אוֹמֵר: עַד שֶׁיָּפוּחַ הַיּוֹם וְנָסוּ הַצְּלָלִים אֵלֶךְ לִי אֶל הַר הַמּוֹר (שה״‎ש ד, ו). זֶה אַבְרָהָם שֶׁנִּקְרָא מוֹר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: מֹר וַאֲהָלוֹת קְצִיעוֹת כָּל בִּגְדֹתֶיךָ (תהלים מה, ט).

Thereupon the Holy Blessed One said to the ministering angels: Come, let us visit the sick. They replied: Master of the Universe, Lord, what is man, that You take knowledge of him, or the son of man, that You make account of him? (Ps. 144:3). Why should you go into an unclean place, into an area bathed in blood and defilement with an evil stench? The Holy One answered: Be assured, the blood of the circumcision is sweeter to Me than myrrh and frankincense. And thus Solomon sang: Until the day breathes, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense (Song 4:6). This verse alludes to Abraham, who was called myrrh, as it is said: Myrrh, aloes, and cassia are all thy garments (Ps. 45:9).

בִּקּוּר חוֹלִים מִצְוָה עַל הַכּל. אֲפִלּוּ גָּדוֹל מְבַקֵּר אֶת הַקָּטָן. וּמְבַקְּרִין הַרְבֵּה פְּעָמִים בַּיּוֹם. וְכָל הַמּוֹסִיף מְשֻׁבָּח וּבִלְבַד שֶׁלֹּא יַטְרִיחַ. וְכָל הַמְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה כְּאִלּוּ נָטַל חֵלֶק מֵחָלְיוֹ וְהֵקֵל מֵעָלָיו. וְכָל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְבַקֵּר כְּאִלּוּ שׁוֹפֵךְ דָּמִים: אֵין מְבַקְּרִין אֶת הַחוֹלֶה אֶלָּא מִיּוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי וָהָלְאָה. וְאִם קָפַץ עָלָיו הַחלִי וְהִכְבִּיד מְבַקְּרִין אוֹתוֹ מִיָּד. וְאֵין מְבַקְּרִין אֶת הַחוֹלֶה לֹא בְּשָׁלֹשׁ שָׁעוֹת רִאשׁוֹנוֹת בַּיּוֹם. וְלֹא בְּשָׁלֹשׁ אַחֲרוֹנוֹת. מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהֵן מִתְעַסְּקִין בְּצָרְכֵי הַחוֹלֶה. וְאֵין מְבַקְּרִין לֹא חוֹלֵי מֵעַיִם וְלֹא חוֹלֵי הָעַיִן. וְלֹא מֵחוֹשֵׁי הָרֹאשׁ. מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהַבִּקּוּר קָשֶׁה לָהֶן:

The duty of visiting the sick applies to everybody. Even an eminent person must visit one who is of minor importance. The visits should be made several times a day. The more often one visits the sick, the more praise he deserves, provided that he does not weary the patient. Whoever visits a patient is as though he took away part of his illness and lightened his pain. Whoever does not visit the sick is almost guilty of bloodshed. A sick person should be visited only from the third day on. If his illness came on suddenly and his condition has become worse, he should be visited immediately. A patient should not be visited either during the first three hours or the last three hours of the day, because he is being attended to at the time.

Questions To Consider

a. Why do you think the Rabbis derive the obligation to visit a sick person from this scenario?

b. Why were the angels reluctant to visit Abraham?

c. Have you ever found yourself avoiding or retreating from someone who is suffering? What was driving you away?

d. Sometimes when we want to visit the sick, we feel awkward. What wisdom can we learn from these texts about how to do it more graciously? What provisions are included in the Mishneh Torah to ensure the comfort-- physical and emotional-- of the patient?

e. Have you ever been the patient needing or receiving visitors? What has another's presence meant to you?

וּגְמִילוּת חֲסָדִים, שֶׁתְּחִלַּת הַתּוֹרָה גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים, וְאֶמְצָעִיתָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים, וְסוֹפָהּ גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים. תְּחִלָּתָהּ הִלְבִּישׁ עֲרֻמִּים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיַּעַשׂ ה' אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כָּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּישֵׁם (בראשית ג, כא). אֶמְצָעִיתָהּ בִּקּוּר חוֹלִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו ה' בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא (בראשית יח, א). וְסוֹפָהּ, קָבַר מֵת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיִּקְבֹּר אֹתוֹ בַגַּי (דברים לד, ו). אַף אַתֶּם תֵּלְכוּ אַחַר מִדּוֹתָיו שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא.

Deeds of loving-kindness are mentioned at the beginning of the Torah, in its middle, and at its conclusion. At the beginning of the Torah, the naked are clothed, as it is said: The Lord God made for Adam and his wife garments of skin, and clothed them (Gen. 3:21); in the middle of the Torah, the sick are visited, as it is said: And God appeared unto him in the grove of Mamre (ibid. 18:1); and at the conclusion of the Torah, the dead are buried, as is said: And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab (Deut. 34:6). In this way you must walk in the ways of the Holy Blessed One.

וְאָמַר רַבִּי חָמָא בְּרַבִּי חֲנִינָא מַאי דִּכְתִיב אַחֲרֵי ה׳ אֱלֹהֵיכֶם תֵּלֵכוּ וְכִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְאָדָם לְהַלֵּךְ אַחַר שְׁכִינָה וַהֲלֹא כְּבָר נֶאֱמַר כִּי ה׳ אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֵשׁ אוֹכְלָה הוּא אֶלָּא לְהַלֵּךְ אַחַר מִדּוֹתָיו שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מָה הוּא מַלְבִּישׁ עֲרוּמִּים דִּכְתִיב וַיַּעַשׂ ה׳ אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כׇּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּשֵׁם אַף אַתָּה הַלְבֵּשׁ עֲרוּמִּים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּיקֵּר חוֹלִים דִּכְתִיב וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו ה׳ בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא אַף אַתָּה בַּקֵּר חוֹלִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נִיחֵם אֲבֵלִים דִּכְתִיב וַיְהִי אַחֲרֵי מוֹת אַבְרָהָם וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ אַף אַתָּה נַחֵם אֲבֵלִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא קָבַר מֵתִים דִּכְתִיב וַיִּקְבֹּר אוֹתוֹ בַּגַּי אַף אַתָּה קְבוֹר מֵתִים

And Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “After the Lord your God shall you walk..." (Deuteronomy 13:5)? But is it actually possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence? Hasn’t it already been stated: “For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God” (Deuteronomy 4:24), and one cannot approach fire. He explains: Rather, the meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy Blessed One. He provides several examples. Just as the Holy One clothes the naked, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy Blessed One, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God’s appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: “And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy Blessed One, consoles mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy Blessed One, buried the dead, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6), so too, should you bury the dead.

יְקִֽימְךָ֨ יְי לוֹ֙ לְעַ֣ם קָד֔וֹשׁ כַּאֲשֶׁ֖ר נִֽשְׁבַּֽע־לָ֑ךְ כִּ֣י תִשְׁמֹ֗ר אֶת־מִצְוֺת֙ יְי אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ וְהָלַכְתָּ֖ בִּדְרָכָֽיו׃

God will establish you as God’s holy people, as was sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of your God and walk in God’s ways.

Rabbi Shai Held, "The Beginning and End of Torah," Parashat v’Zot HaBerakha

...Just how fundamental are acts of hesed (lovingkindness) to what characterizes God and Torah? The midrash continues, “The beginning of the Torah is lovingkindness, the middle of the Torah is lovingkindness, and the end of the Torah is lovingkindness.” At the beginning, as we have seen, God clothes Adam and Eve; at the end God buries Moses. In the “middle” God visits Abraham while he is in need of healing (Genesis 18:1) (Tanhuma, Vayishlah 10). When we say that the beginning, middle, and end of x is y, we are really saying that y is the very core of what x is. The very essence of Torah, the Sages thus insist, is a God of love and kindness who calls Israel to love and kindness.

At some deep level, then, what Torah is about is “walking in God’s ways,” which the Sages understand to mean living a life of lovingkindness.2 “Walking in God’s ways” is a two-pronged obligation: We are obligated to cultivate certain character traits, like compassion and mercy (Midrash Sifrei, Eikev 49) and to engage in concrete acts of kindness, like clothing the naked, visiting the sick, comforting the mourners, and burying the dead (BT, Sotah 14a).

Questions to Consider

a. Why does it matter-- both in the Genesis story with Abraham and in the text from Sotah-- that it is God who is modeling the behavior?

b. Why do you think these particular mitzvot are chosen as the examples of how to "walk in God's ways?"

c. Rabbi Held argues that we are called not only to cultivate holy character traits, but also to "engage in concrete acts" that manifest those traits and values. When have you found it hard and when have you found it easy to translate these aspirational ideas into action?

Invitation To Practice: Make the Call

Visit someone who is struggling. Pick up the phone, stop by with groceries. While respecting the person's agency, let them know that they're on your mind, and you haven't forgotten about them.