Parshat Bamidbar (Numbers 1:1:4:20) outlines the Israelites’ census and community structure. In this Torah study, we will explore queer family structures and who is included in queer community. Who do we count in our community and family? Who decides?
Blessing for Torah Study
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la'asok b’divrei Torah. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who hallows us with mitzvot, charging us to engage with words of Torah.
Beginning with Our Own Torah
1) Think of or imagine a moment when you felt recognized as part of a community. What or who made you feel recognized? You could also consider a moment when you didn't feel recognized as part of a community. What or who made you feel unrecognized?
2) What does it mean to count someone in your community? Who gets to decide?
Questions to Consider
Who is counted in each tribe? Who is doing the counting? What are the implications of who is and isn't counted? How are tribes divided? What does this reveal about the Israelites' family structures? How might this relate to queer family structures?
(1) On the first day of the second month, in the second year following the exodus from the land of Egypt, יהוה spoke to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, in the Tent of Meeting, saying: (2) Take a census of the whole Israelite company [of fighters]*company [of fighters] NJPS “community,” trad. “congregation.” See the Dictionary under ‘edah. by the clans of its ancestral houses,*its ancestral houses I.e., its tribes. listing the names, every male, head by head. (3) You and Aaron shall record them by their groups, from the age of twenty years up, all those in Israel who are able to bear arms.
כל יצא צבא [FROM TWENTY YEARS OLD AND UPWARDS] ALL THAT GO FORTH TO THE HOST — This tells us that no one less than twenty years of age goes forth to the host (cf. Rashi on Exodus 30:14 and Note thereon).
ואלה תולדת אהרן ומשה AND THESE ARE THE OFFSPRING OF AARON AND MOSES — But it mentions only the sons of Aaron! But they also are called the sons of Moses because he taught them the Torah. This tells us that whoever teaches the Torah to the son of his fellow man Scripture regards it to him as though he had begotten him (Sanhedrin 19b).
As one of two gay fathers of a six-month old daughter, I wonder: Where does this leave me? How is my daughter to count her tribe (forgetting, for a moment, that women were not even included in this census in the Book of Numbers)? She has two fathers – two tribes to account for. In the census of Jewish families, does she get counted twice, once for each “tribe”? And to make matters even more complicated, her mother, the woman with whom my husband and I co-parent, offers yet another familial lineage, another “tribal” bond. In our three-parent, two- household, one-child family, where does our daughter fit? How does Hashem count her? What place is there for her in the Jewish community?
Ending with Our Own Torah
1) Return to the moment when you felt recognized as part of a community. What were the advantages and disadvantages of being part of the group? You could also consider the moment when you didn't feel recognized as part of a community. What were the advantages and disadvantages of being part of the group? How does this question feel to you?
2) Who counts in your community? What is the basis that is used to decide?