Avos 1:6 עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב (notes)

Rav Avigdor Miller ztz"l - Toras Avigdor: Parshas Kedoshim (Year 1)

בְּצֶ֖דֶק תִּשְׁפֹּ֥ט עֲמִיתֶֽךָ - in its most simple pshat what that means is that if you’re a judge, if you’re a dayan in the beis din, so you must always be on guard that your first inclination, your emotions, shouldn’t be the reason for your decision. Don’t allow any superficial thoughts to lead you to conclusions; instead you must be careful to follow the din of the Torah in all its details.

Let me give him a break!” “No,” says Hashem, “Don’t do that” לֹא־תִשָּׂ֣א פְנֵי־דָ֔ל – “Don’t follow your superficial emotions in the courtroom and try to give an edge to the poor man”

וְלֹ֥א תֶהְדַּ֖ר פְּנֵ֣י גָד֑וֹל - “Don’t show any preferable honor to an important person” If you’re a judge, it has to be b’tzedek. You have to follow the strict letter of the law

L’kaf zechus means that you have to ignore the kaf chov, the side of guilt, and instead go out of your way to judge your fellow man l’kaf zechus, to the side of merit.

You’re always passing judgement on people; don’t think otherwise. You’re judging your wife or your husband all the time! Why did he do this? Why didn’t she do that? Why
did he say this or that?

You’re judging your neighbors all the time! Why did he block my driveway? Why does he let his son ride his bike on my lawn?

You’re judging your children all the time!

And your co-workers, and your chavrusa, and the people in shul, and the Rav of your shul.

You’re even making judgements about strangers who pass you by on the street! You’re a full time dayan!

Now, if you’re paying attention you’ll note that the mitzvah בְּצֶ֖דֶק תִּשְׁפֹּ֥ט עֲמִיתֶֽךָ is a source for two seemingly contradictory halachos.

On the one hand, the Torah is obligating a judge to issue his verdict on the basis of absolute justice, in strict accordance with the law.

And yet, these same words are teaching us that outside the beis din we are obligated in the mitzvah וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת - “Judge your neighbor favorably,” which means that we are obligated not to be strict and instead to do our utmost to justify the actions and behavior of our fellow Jews.

What b’tzedek tishpot really means is that we expect from a dayan in the courtroom not to be fooled by superficialities. So what of it if he’s a poor man dressed in rags?!
Who cares if he’s mumbling or stuttering when presenting his claim?! And if he’s a wealthy man, if he’s dressed in a tailored suit and he’s so impressive looking - so what?! Are you going to pass judgement on the basis of such a shallow thing?! With half-baked
ideas you’ll pasken on a Yisroel?! Chas v’shalom!

The dayan is expected to ignore the veneer of superficialities and drill down to the core of justice - he’s expected to be dan din emes la’amito. It’s not easy for a dayan to see past the superficialities in the courtroom. It’s not easy to ignore what’s right in front of his eyes - it’s there; it’s so real and concrete. What he sees in the poor man is real! What he sees in the wealthy man is obvious; it’s so tangible!

And so, it’s very hard to push it all away, to ignore it completely, and come to the right decision. And yet, as difficult as it might be, that's the obligation of b'tzedek tishpot amisecha.

And outside of the courtroom we’re expected to do the same! We have that same obligation outside the beis din; absolutely.

In all of your contacts with amisecha, with your fellow Jews - the ones you like as well as the ones you don’t like as much - you’re expected to ignore the superficial things that bother you and instead you’re obligated to drill down to the core of the person and judge him favorably. And that means that we all have a big job ahead of us! Because it means that you have to think!

Let’s say your wife says a sharp word to you - it happens sometimes. So instead of getting upset, instead of being hurt, you’re obligated - it’s a mitzvah d’oraisah - to search for reasons to give her the benefit of the doubt. First of all, maybe you deserved
it - it could very well be you deserved to hear some criticism.

And let’s say she was wrong - you didn’t deserve to be told off at all. So you’ll be a failure and judge your spouse because of something superficial; she criticized you; so what?! In two minutes she’ll forget what she said. You’re going to judge her because of that?!

Maybe she was up all night with a crying baby while you were sleeping soundly. Maybe she had an impossible day with the children. Whatever it might be, you’re obligated to seek to justify what your fellow Jew does or says by giving him or her the benefit of the doubt.

Another layer in the pshat of what it means to fulfill the mitzvah of b’tzedek tishpot amisecha:

To be dan l’kaf zchus is actually much more than learning how to clarify a doubt - it’s learning an attitude in dealing with other people that leaves no room for doubt altogether!

What that means is that we’re expected to acquire the middah of seeking out the positive in people; to want only good things for the people around us, and thereby train ourselves to see only good.

When you appreciate people by focusing on their ma’alos - if you actually desire to look at people favorably - so you’ll find ways to explain his actions in a way that it should be a z’chus. And even when you can’t do that, you’ll appreciate his other ma’alos so much, that it will weigh down the scale to the kaf z’chus and you’ll overlook the negative. “Who cares about that?! It’s only a narishkeit,” you’ll think. “I love that man!”

Now, in order to judge somebody l’kaf zechus, if you want to succeed in seeing people as zaka’im, so you’re going to need training in becoming an oheiv tzedek; you have to love to see people in a good light.

You know, when people love to see trouble in the world, so they pick up the newspaper to see what crimes were done. No one is interested to see if somebody did a good thing; if somebody kept the law let’s say, or if somebody helped his fellow man. That doesn’t matter - they wouldn’t put that in a newspaper. “Who was caught doing something embarrassing?” “What new faults did they dig up in the President today?” That’s news! That’s what people want to hear.

And therefore the program for success is to rise above all the faults that you have the tendency to see in people, and to see the tzad zchus, the other side of the scale. Now, I know it’s not easy to think, to always be using your mind - it’s a burden - it’s much easier to make judgments on what you see superficially.

But Hakodosh Boruch Hu says that you have to make up your mind to get along with any meshugas, anything that you think is an idiosyncrasy, that you think is unreasonable. And so you have to, as much as possible, ignore all the faults you imagine you see because that’s what the Torah requires of you; to judge a person by his kaf zchus, and to overlook the kaf chov. It’s so important to develop an appreciation of the good qualities of the people around you.

I’ll give you a practical eitzah for accomplishing this - an eitzah that’s been tried and tested. One of the most practical programs for success in this endeavor is to attach a good middah, a ma’aleh, to all the people you know. Your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, everyone has something that makes them special. I had a rebbe once, a great rebbe, and he once told us that a person is not one thing, he’s a bundle of things. It was sixty years ago that I heard him say that and I remember it like yesterday. “A person is not one middah,” he said, “He's a bundle of middos.” So one thing might be not good, but something else is good in him.

And so when we see the man in shul who is a nuisance, the one who gets on people’s nerves, we don’t see that. Instead we look for the ma’alos, for the kaf zchus. He pays the electric bill for the shul. Quietly, without anybody knowing, he pays the bills for
the shul. Now, when I see this man, I see the man who pays for the air conditioner; the man who pays for the lights. That’s what I see and I don’t see anything else! Because our job in this world is to ignore the more difficult parts of the bundle and focus on only the good parts. And once you begin to look at people and see them only with their ma’alos, that’s your ticket to overlooking the superficialities of the things that would bother you, and fulfilling the mitzvah of being dan l’kaf zchus.

Now, if you'll try to think about a person's middos tovos, you'll be surprised there isn't a person who doesn't have good in him. Among the shomrei Torah everybody has good qualities. In this middah he could be excellent, whereas somebody else is excellent in a different middah. So in case you can't love the person entirely, love at least one aspect of his personality.

Let's say he davens well. Love him for that. It says that Hashem is “oihev tzadikim.” Why does Hashem love tzaddikim? Because they give Him kavod?! They pay him money?! No; He loves them because they're tzaddikim; they daven, they learn, they
dress with tzniyus. So you can love them too! You see a tzaddik that davens well. Love that man just because of that! In your eyes, from now on that’s what you see when you see him. Another person learns well. Another person gives tzedakah. Another person is quiet and well behaved. Find what you can in each person and you'll be surprised. You'll be very surprised; people are full of good things. And that’s the only thing you should be looking at.

The shomrei Torah, no question that they're full of good things. They're raising up families of children who will be ovdei Hashem. They're upholding the shuls and the yeshivos with their money, with their participation. They themselves are mekayeim
mitzvos every day. There are many reasons why you should love these people. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves them for that, so with a little bit of thought you could do the same. Try to like him because of his ma'alos - whatever they are - and little by little it will enter into your heart and you'll gain a certain warmth towards that person. And that warmth as little as it is, it’s a tremendous achievement. That's why we came to this
world. To learn to be happy with, to see favorably all kinds of people - even the ba'alei ga'avah, and the ka'asanim, and the nuisances; everybody!

We’re learning now that the mitzvah of b’tzedek tishpot amisecha is really a program for life; and it requires planting the seeds of loving your fellow Jew in your mind, of seeing the ma’alos - of seeing only the positive - of the people around you. It’s not easy; I understand that. But even if you’ll achieve only a ma’shehu, a small fraction of this avodah, it’s a tremendous perfection of your character. And the more you plant and nurture the proper thoughts in your mind, the more you’re won over, and the more you’ll be able to fulfill this mitzvah in all of your encounters throughout your life.