(כב) וַֽיְהִי֙ בָּעֵ֣ת הַהִ֔וא וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲבִימֶ֗לֶךְ וּפִיכֹל֙ שַׂר־צְבָא֔וֹ אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֖ם לֵאמֹ֑ר אֱלֹהִ֣ים עִמְּךָ֔ בְּכֹ֥ל אֲשֶׁר־אַתָּ֖ה עֹשֶֽׂה׃ (כג) וְעַתָּ֗ה הִשָּׁ֨בְעָה לִּ֤י בֵֽאלֹהִים֙ הֵ֔נָּה אִם־תִּשְׁקֹ֣ר לִ֔י וּלְנִינִ֖י וּלְנֶכְדִּ֑י כַּחֶ֜סֶד אֲשֶׁר־עָשִׂ֤יתִי עִמְּךָ֙ תַּעֲשֶׂ֣ה עִמָּדִ֔י וְעִם־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־גַּ֥רְתָּה בָּֽהּ׃ (כד) וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אַבְרָהָ֔ם אָנֹכִ֖י אִשָּׁבֵֽעַ׃ (כה) וְהוֹכִ֥חַ אַבְרָהָ֖ם אֶת־אֲבִימֶ֑לֶךְ עַל־אֹדוֹת֙ בְּאֵ֣ר הַמַּ֔יִם אֲשֶׁ֥ר גָּזְל֖וּ עַבְדֵ֥י אֲבִימֶֽלֶךְ׃ (כו) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ לֹ֣א יָדַ֔עְתִּי מִ֥י עָשָׂ֖ה אֶת־הַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֑ה וְגַם־אַתָּ֞ה לֹא־הִגַּ֣דְתָּ לִּ֗י וְגַ֧ם אָנֹכִ֛י לֹ֥א שָׁמַ֖עְתִּי בִּלְתִּ֥י הַיּֽוֹם׃ (כז) וַיִּקַּ֤ח אַבְרָהָם֙ צֹ֣אן וּבָקָ֔ר וַיִּתֵּ֖ן לַאֲבִימֶ֑לֶךְ וַיִּכְרְת֥וּ שְׁנֵיהֶ֖ם בְּרִֽית׃ (כח) וַיַּצֵּ֣ב אַבְרָהָ֗ם אֶת־שֶׁ֛בַע כִּבְשֹׂ֥ת הַצֹּ֖אן לְבַדְּהֶֽן׃ (כט) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֲבִימֶ֖לֶךְ אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֑ם מָ֣ה הֵ֗נָּה שֶׁ֤בַע כְּבָשֹׂת֙ הָאֵ֔לֶּה אֲשֶׁ֥ר הִצַּ֖בְתָּ לְבַדָּֽנָה׃ (ל) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר כִּ֚י אֶת־שֶׁ֣בַע כְּבָשֹׂ֔ת תִּקַּ֖ח מִיָּדִ֑י בַּעֲבוּר֙ תִּֽהְיֶה־לִּ֣י לְעֵדָ֔ה כִּ֥י חָפַ֖רְתִּי אֶת־הַבְּאֵ֥ר הַזֹּֽאת׃ (לא) עַל־כֵּ֗ן קָרָ֛א לַמָּק֥וֹם הַה֖וּא בְּאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע כִּ֛י שָׁ֥ם נִשְׁבְּע֖וּ שְׁנֵיהֶֽם׃ (לב) וַיִּכְרְת֥וּ בְרִ֖ית בִּבְאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע וַיָּ֣קׇם אֲבִימֶ֗לֶךְ וּפִיכֹל֙ שַׂר־צְבָא֔וֹ וַיָּשֻׁ֖בוּ אֶל־אֶ֥רֶץ פְּלִשְׁתִּֽים׃
(22) At that time Abimelech and Phicol, chief of his troops, said to Abraham, “God is with you in everything that you do. (23) Therefore swear to me here by God that you will not deal falsely with me or with my kith and kin, but will deal with me and with the land in which you have sojourned as loyally as I have dealt with you.” (24) And Abraham said, “I swear it.” (25) Then Abraham reproached Abimelech for the well of water which the servants of Abimelech had seized. (26) But Abimelech said, “I do not know who did this; you did not tell me, nor have I heard of it until today.” (27) Abraham took sheep and oxen and gave them to Abimelech, and the two of them made a pact. (28) Abraham then set seven ewes of the flock by themselves, (29) and Abimelech said to Abraham, “What mean these seven ewes which you have set apart?” (30) He replied, “You are to accept these seven ewes from me as proof that I dug this well.” (31) Hence that place was called Beer-sheba,*Beer-sheba I.e., “well of seven” or “well of oath.” for there the two of them swore an oath. (32) When they had concluded the pact at Beer-sheba, Abimelech and Phicol, chief of his troops, departed and returned to the land of the Philistines.
How do we as Jews relate to others? Do we communicate identified as a religious group, culture, nationality, people or tribe?
What are your goals in engaging others? Are your intentions narrow or broad?
What is the nature of the relationship we establish? Is it durable? Is it healthy? Do we sustain integrity? Are we operating out of convictions?
Are you listening to the other person? Are you acknowledging them? Does your answer reflect the relationship you desire?
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.
(ז) נִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי אוֹמֵר, הַרְחֵק מִשָּׁכֵן רָע, וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע, וְאַל תִּתְיָאֵשׁ מִן הַפֻּרְעָנוּת:
(7) Nittai the Arbelite used to say: keep a distance from an evil neighbor, do not become attached to the wicked, and do not abandon faith in [divine] retribution.
(ח) שָׁאַל עוֹבֵד כּוֹכָבִים אֶחָד אֶת רַבָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי, אִלֵּין עוֹבָדַיָּא דְּאַתּוּן עָבְדִין נִרְאִין כְּמִין כְּשָׁפִים, אַתֶּם מְבִיאִים פָּרָה וְשׂוֹרְפִין אוֹתָהּ וְכוֹתְּשִׁין אוֹתָהּ וְנוֹטְלִין אֶת אַפְרָהּ וְאֶחָד מִכֶּם מִטַּמֵּא לְמֵת, מַזִּין עָלָיו שְׁתַּיִם וְשָׁלשׁ טִפִּין וְאַתֶּם אוֹמְרִים לוֹ טָהַרְתָּ. אָמַר לוֹ לֹא נִכְנְסָה בְּךָ רוּחַ תְּזָזִית מִיָּמֶיךָ, אָמַר לוֹ לָאו. רָאִיתָ אָדָם שֶׁנִּכְנְסָה בּוֹ רוּחַ תְּזָזִית, אָמַר לוֹ הֵן, אָמַר לוֹ וּמָה אַתֶּם עוֹשִׂין לוֹ, אָמַר לוֹ מְבִיאִין עִקָּרִין וּמְעַשְׁנִין תַּחְתָּיו וּמַרְבִּיצִים עָלֶיהָ מַיִם, וְהִיא בּוֹרַחַת. אָמַר לוֹ יִשְׁמְעוּ אָזְנֶיךָ מַה שֶּׁאַתָּה מוֹצִיא מִפִּיךָ, כָּךְ הָרוּחַ הַזּוֹ, רוּחַ טֻמְאָה, דִּכְתִיב (זכריה יג, ב): וְגַם אֶת הַנְּבִיאִים וְאֶת רוּחַ הַטֻּמְאָה אַעֲבִיר מִן הָאָרֶץ, מַזִּין עָלָיו מֵי נִדָּה וְהוּא בּוֹרֵח. לְאַחַר שֶׁיָּצָא אָמְרוּ לוֹ תַּלְמִידָיו, רַבֵּנוּ, לָזֶה דָּחִית בְּקָנֶה, לָנוּ מָה אַתָּה אוֹמֵר, אָמַר לָהֶם חַיֵּיכֶם, לֹא הַמֵּת מְטַמֵּא וְלֹא הַמַּיִם מְטַהֲרִין, אֶלָּא אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא חֻקָּה חָקַקְתִּי גְּזֵרָה גָּזַרְתִּי אִי אַתָּה רַשַׁאי לַעֲבֹר עַל גְּזֵרָתִי, דִּכְתִיב: זֹאת חֻקַּת הַתּוֹרָה.
(8) A certain idolater asked Rabban Yoḥanan ben Zakai: ‘These actions that you perform seem to be a type of sorcery. You bring a heifer, burn it, crush it, and take its ashes. One of you becomes impure from a corpse, one sprinkles upon him two or three drops, and you say to him: You are purified.’ He said to him: ‘Has a spirit of insanity never entered you?’ He said to him: ‘No.’ ‘Have you seen a person into whom a spirit of insanity has entered?’ He said to him: ‘Yes.’ He said to him: ‘And what do you do to him?’ He said to him: ‘We bring roots, smoke them beneath him, and sprinkle water on it, and it flees.’ He said to him: ‘Let your ears hear what you express from your mouth. The same is true of this spirit, this spirit of impurity, as it is written: “I will remove the prophets and the spirit of impurity from the land” (Zechariah 13:2). We sprinkle upon it the water of sprinkling, and it flees.’After he left, his students said to him: ‘You rebuffed this one with a reed.44It was not a particularly compelling response. What do you say to us?’ He said to them: ‘As you live, it is not the corpse that impurifies, and it is not the water that purifies. Rather, the Holy One blessed be He said: I instituted a statute, issued a decree; you are not permitted to violate My decree, as it is written: “This is the statute of the Torah.”’
"Make for yourself a mentor": He means to say even if he is not fit to be your mentor; still place him upon you as a mentor, so that you can give and take (discuss and argue) with him, and as a result of this the study of wisdom will come to your hand. As the study of a man on his own is good, but his study from someone else will be better established in his hand and it will be more clear - and even if he is like him in wisdom or below him. And so did they elucidate the explanation of this commandment. And he said, "acquire for yourself a friend". He said it with an expression of acquisition and he did not say, "Make for yourself a friend," or "Befriend others." The intention of this is that a person must acquire a friend for himself, so that all of his deeds and all of his matters be refined through him, as they said (Taanit 23a), "Either a friend or death." And if he does not find him, he must make efforts for it with all his heart, and even if he must lead him to his friendship, until he becomes a friend. And [then] he must never let off from following [his friend's] will, until his friendship is firmed up. [It is] as the masters of ethics say, "When you love, do not love according to your traits; but rather love according to the trait of your friend." And when each of the friends has the intention to fulfill the will of his friend, the intention of both of them will be one without a doubt. And how good is the statement of Aristotle, "The friend is one." And there are three types of friends: a friend for benefit, a friend for enjoyment and a friend for virtue. Indeed, a friend for benefit is like the friendship of two [business] partners and the friendship of a king and his retinue; whereas the friendship for enjoyment is of two types - the friend for pleasure and the friend for confidence. Indeed, the friend for pleasure is like the friendship of males and females and similar to it; whereas the friend for confidence is when a man has a friend to whom he can confide his soul. He will not keep [anything] from him - not in action and not in speech. And he will make him know all of his affairs - the good ones and the disgraceful - without fearing from him that any loss will come to him with all of this, not from him and not from another. As when a person has such a level of confidence in a man, he finds great enjoyment in his words and in his great friendship. And a friend for virtue is when the desire of both of them and their intention is for one thing, and that is the good. And each one wants to be helped by his friend in reaching this good for both of them together. And this is the friend which he commanded to acquire; and it is like the love of the master for the student and of the student for the master. Rambam Commentary on Pirke Avot 1:6
(יא) כִּ֤י אֹ֣זֶן שָׁ֭מְעָה וַֽתְּאַשְּׁרֵ֑נִי וְעַ֥יִן רָ֝אֲתָ֗ה וַתְּעִידֵֽנִי׃ (יב) כִּֽי־אֲ֭מַלֵּט עָנִ֣י מְשַׁוֵּ֑עַ וְ֝יָת֗וֹם וְֽלֹא־עֹזֵ֥ר לֽוֹ׃ (יג) בִּרְכַּ֣ת אֹ֭בֵד עָלַ֣י תָּבֹ֑א וְלֵ֖ב אַלְמָנָ֣ה אַרְנִֽן׃ (יד) צֶ֣דֶק לָ֭בַשְׁתִּי וַיִּלְבָּשֵׁ֑נִי כִּמְעִ֥יל וְ֝צָנִ֗יף מִשְׁפָּטִֽי׃ (טו) עֵינַ֣יִם הָ֭יִיתִי לַעִוֵּ֑ר וְרַגְלַ֖יִם לַפִּסֵּ֣חַ אָֽנִי׃ (טז) אָ֣ב אָ֭נֹכִֽי לָאֶבְיוֹנִ֑ים וְרִ֖ב לֹא־יָדַ֣עְתִּי אֶחְקְרֵֽהוּ׃
(11) The ear that heard me acclaimed me;The eye that saw, commended me. (12) For I saved the poor man who cried out,The orphan who had none to help him. (13) I received the blessing of the lost;I gladdened the heart of the widow. (14) I clothed myself in righteousness and it robed me;Justice was my cloak and turban. (15) I was eyes to the blindAnd feet to the lame. (16) I was a father to the needy,And I looked into the case of the stranger.