Hakarat HaTov–Gratitude: Acknowledging the Good

When we think that our good fortune is owed to us because of our hard work, we are less likely to give thanks for what we have. Such thinking is harmful to our souls and detrimental to our impulse toward generosity. Research has shown that being grateful makes us happier, more resilient, and improves our self-esteem. Physical benefits include better sleep, lower blood pressure, reduced pain, and a greater desire to engage in physical exercise. Interpersonally, gratitude makes us more compassionate, helpful, and kind. Yet, because we live in a society where many of us are blessed with plenty, we often take for granted what we have or take too much credit for acquiring it. It’s often easier to notice what we lack instead of appreciating what we have.

The donor then recites this passage, known to many from the Haggadah:

Rabbi Ben Hollander taught that this ritual is an annual aliyah, lifting us out of the mire of our daily tasks and redirecting us to recognize the blessings in our lives. "It acknowledged, in Martin Buber's phrase, God's constantly renewing gift of the land." When we are caught up in the daily grind, our focus can be limited, and we might fail to see the goodness all around us or acknowledge the source of that goodness. This ritual is a corrective to our tendency to take for granted, or to take sole credit for, what we have.

Gaining perspective on our situations is important, but Ki Tavo asks even more of us. Not only are we expected to express our appreciation, but we are also instructed to remember our oppression. The recitation of this passage is a yeridah l’tzorech aliyah—a “descent in order to ascend.” We recite the history of our hardship and slavery to recognize how far we have come from our enslavement. In fact, the whole trajectory of the Passover seder moves us from recalling the low point of our enslavement—our “degradation” (g’nut)—to “praising” God for our liberation (shevach). This is not just our ancestors’ liberation, but also our own. As we recite at the seder, in every generation we are obligated to see ourselves as having personally been enslaved and redeemed. When we recite this passage from Ki Tavo, we are saying, “Look how far we have come.”

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Each of us can recall moments of gratitude and relief when a painful event has moved into our rearview mirror and no longer has the emotional grip on us that it once had. In Jewish tradition, we recite Birkat HaGomeil after recovering from an illness or making it safely through a treacherous situation. The blessing states, “Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has bestowed every goodness upon us… May the One who has bestowed goodness upon us continue to bestow every goodness upon us forever.” It is then customary to give tzedakah in gratitude for having survived a difficult experience. In the same vein, we read that our gratitude for our liberation should inspire us to give to others:

At the seder, we say, “Let all who are hungry come and eat,” acknowledging that when we remember our hunger, our compassion for those in need flows freely.​⬤

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There’s a psychological phenomenon in which people attribute their success mainly to their own efforts and talents, discounting salutary effects and advantages from which they have benefited. This phenomenon is based on our inclination to ignore or discount forces or privileges that have contributed to our success, much as a cyclist, impelled forward by a tailwind, may feel she is benefiting primarily from her many miles of dedication and training rather than by the wind at her back.

The so-called American dream is based on the deeply ingrained notion that people in the United States can pull themselves up by their own bootstraps if they work hard enough. By extension, the inverse is presumably also the case: that failure to succeed is a mark of one’s own shortcomings or indolence. What this myth of upward mobility fails to take into account is that many of us benefit from advantages such as wealth, access to good schools, safe neighborhoods, good health care, powerful social connections, or a myriad of other factors that make success far more attainable—in effect, a wind at one’s back.

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Hakarat hatov is a spiritual practice that opens our minds and hearts to notice the forces that propel us forward. Hakarat hatov can help us perceive in a radically different light those around us who have fared less well and to acknowledge that the tailwinds from which we have benefited may have manifested as headwinds for others. When we acknowledge our blessings and recognize the Source of Blessing, we become more grateful and develop greater kindness and empathy toward others.

Hakarat hatov can also help us to focus more on what we have than on what we lack. Scarcity is not objectively measurable; it is defined by our own perception. Practicing hakarat hatov can shift our perspective from one of lack to one of abundance. This feeling of being blessed with plenty, and that our bounty is the product of the fertile soil on which we toil, can turn our attitude from “I deserve it” to “I’m fortunate. It hasn’t always been like this. Look how far I’ve come with God’s help. How can I share my blessings with others?”