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Few and Terrible Have Been My Years: Thoughts on Aging
(ז) וַיָּבֵ֤א יוֹסֵף֙ אֶת־יַֽעֲקֹ֣ב אָבִ֔יו וַיַּֽעֲמִדֵ֖הוּ לִפְנֵ֣י פַרְעֹ֑ה וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־פַּרְעֹֽה׃ (ח) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר פַּרְעֹ֖ה אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֑ב כַּמָּ֕ה יְמֵ֖י שְׁנֵ֥י חַיֶּֽיךָ׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙ אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֔ה יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵ֣י מְגוּרַ֔י שְׁלֹשִׁ֥ים וּמְאַ֖ת שָׁנָ֑ה מְעַ֣ט וְרָעִ֗ים הָיוּ֙ יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵ֣י חַיַּ֔י וְלֹ֣א הִשִּׂ֗יגוּ אֶת־יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵי֙ חַיֵּ֣י אֲבֹתַ֔י בִּימֵ֖י מְגוּרֵיהֶֽם׃ (י) וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־פַּרְעֹ֑ה וַיֵּצֵ֖א מִלִּפְנֵ֥י פַרְעֹֽה׃

(7) Joseph then brought his father Jacob and presented him to Pharaoh; and Jacob greeted Pharaoh. (8) Pharaoh asked Jacob, “How many are the years of your life?” (9) And Jacob answered Pharaoh, “The years of my sojourn [on earth] are one hundred and thirty. Few and hard have been the years of my life, nor do they come up to the life spans of my ancestors during their sojourns.” (10) Then Jacob bade Pharaoh farewell, and left Pharaoh’s presence.

Context: This is from the Biblical Book of Genesis. Joseph has his dad, Jacob, move to where Joseph lives (Egypt) so that Joseph can better take care of him (due to a famine). After Jacob (and his whole family) does, Joesph takes his dad to meet Joseph’s boss (the king of Egypt).

The reasonable answer to “How old are you” is “130”. Why would Jacob put in the other things?

Answer 1

(א) מעט ורעים - לפי שנראה יעקב בעיניו זקן יותר מדאי, ששאל לו: כמה ימי שני חייך? השיב לו יעקב: מעט הם, אבל רעים הם ולכך אני נראה בעיניך זקן יותר מדאי.
(1) מעט ורעים, seeing that Pharaoh’s question of how old he was appeared to Yaakov as being motivated by his extremely old appearance, he told him that he was not nearly as old as he might look, but that the various troubles in his life he had endured had left their mark on his appearance.

Rashbam is a 1100s commentator on the Bible who is Rashi’s grandson. Here he is saying that he’s not actually as old as he looks, it’s just that terrible things have happened to his body.

We can’t control most of how our body ages physically. What we can control is how we use our body within the limitations that it gives us. If we move as much as we can, and engage socially, intellectually, and spiritually as much as we can, that will help us take control of our aging process as much as possible.

Answer 2

“fathers. Heb. avot, which can mean “ancestors” (including females, as in v. 30, below), although here it seems that Jacob is intending only the male family heads: Terah died at 205, Abraham at 175, and Isaac at 180. He is, after all, older than his grandmother Sarah, who died at the age of 127. (The Bible does not disclose the longevity of the other matriarchs.)

It is natural throughout our lives to compare ourselves to our ancestors, marveling at how they accomplished what they did at our age. There is a Hasidic story that cautions us against doing this too much, though.

Reb Zusya seemed worried one day and his students asked him why. He said, “I’m not worried that when I die I’ll be asked why I wasn’t like Abraham, because I’m not Abraham. And I’m not worried that when I die I’ll be asked why I wasn’t like Moses, because I’m not Moses. I’m worried that I’ll be asked why I wasn’t like Zusya!”

Answer 3

כמה ימי שני חייך. פשט לפי שראהו זקן מאד ושערות ראשו וזקנו לבנות מרוב הזקנה שאל כן והוא ענהו ימי מגורי שלשים ומאת שנה מעט ורעים כלומר מעטים הם שנותי אלא מתוך רעות שהיה לי קפצה עלי זקנה. מדרש בשעה שאמר יעקב מעט ורעים היו אמר לו הקב"ה אני מלטתיך מעשו ומלבן והחזרתי לך דינה גם יוסף ואתה מתרעם על חייך שהם מעט ורעים חייך שמנין התיבות שיש מן ויאמר עד בימי מגורי כך יחסרו משנותיך שלא תחיה כחיי יצחק אביך והם ל"ג תיבות ובמנין זה נחסרו מחייו שהרי יצחק חי ק"פ שנה ויעקב לא חי אלא קמ"ז:

"How many are the years of your life?"

Simple meaning (p'shat): Because Pharaoh saw that Jacob looked very old, and the hair of his head and his beard were white from an abundance of old age, Pharaoh asked this. Jacob answered him, "the years of my sojourn [on earth] are one hundred and thirty. Few and hard have been the years of my life," meaning, my years may have been few, but because of hard things that happened to me, old age has come upon me.

Life-lesson meaning (midrash): At the time that Jacob said, "Few and hard have been the years of my life," the Holy Blessed One said to him, "I rescued you from Esau and Laban, I returned to you Dinah and Joseph, yet you are discontented with your life, saying that [your years] were few and hard! By your life, the number of words that are from "Pharaoh asked" until "years of my sojourn," such shall be missing from your years, so that you will not live as long as your father Isaac!" These were 33 words, and this number of years were missing from his life, as Isaac lived 180 years, but Jacob only lived 147.

The Da’at Zekenim was written in the 1200s in France.

It is easy to focus on the negatives in our life. However, many positive things have indubitably happened as well (and after it, it could always be worse, but if it can’t it can only get better). Psychology teaches us that people who have a more positive perspective tend to live longer and be happier. Perhaps if Jacob had not focused on how terrible his life was, he might have both had better and more years.

When life hands you a round-shaped food, focus on the bagel, not the hole.