unto the third generation - grandparenting

(1) Some time afterward, Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took with him his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. (2) When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to see you,” Israel summoned his strength and sat up in bed. (3) And Jacob said to Joseph, “El Shaddai, who appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, blessed me— (4) and said to me, ‘I will make you fertile and numerous, making of you a community of peoples; and I will assign this land to your offspring to come for an everlasting possession.’ (5) Now, your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, shall be mine; Ephraim and Manasseh shall be mine no less than Reuben and Simeon. (6) But progeny born to you after them shall be yours; they shall be recorded instead of their brothers in their inheritance. (7) I [do this because], when I was returning from Paddan, Rachel died, to my sorrow, while I was journeying in the land of Canaan, when still some distance short of Ephrath; and I buried her there on the road to Ephrath”—now Bethlehem. (8) Noticing Joseph’s sons, Israel asked, “Who are these?” (9) And Joseph said to his father, “They are my sons, whom God has given me here.” “Bring them up to me,” he said, “that I may bless them.” (10) Now Israel’s eyes were dim with age; he could not see. So [Joseph] brought them close to him, and he kissed them and embraced them. (11) And Israel said to Joseph, “I never expected to see you again, and here God has let me see your children as well.” (12) Joseph then removed them from his knees, and bowed low with his face to the ground. (13) Joseph took the two of them, Ephraim with his right hand—to Israel’s left—and Manasseh with his left hand—to Israel’s right—and brought them close to him. (14) But Israel stretched out his right hand and laid it on Ephraim’s head, though he was the younger, and his left hand on Manasseh’s head—thus crossing his hands—although Manasseh was the first-born. (15) And he blessed Joseph, saying,
“The God in whose ways my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
The God who has been my shepherd from my birth to this day—
(16) The Messenger who has redeemed me from all harm—
Bless the lads.
In them may my name be recalled,
And the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac,
And may they be teeming multitudes upon the earth.”

(17) When Joseph saw that his father was placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head, he thought it wrong; so he took hold of his father’s hand to move it from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s. (18) “Not so, Father,” Joseph said to his father, “for the other is the first-born; place your right hand on his head.” (19) But his father objected, saying, “I know, my son, I know. He too shall become a people, and he too shall be great. Yet his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his offspring shall be plentiful enough for nations.”

(20) So he blessed them that day, saying, “By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.” Thus he put Ephraim before Manasseh.

(1) May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh. May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

(2) May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord shine His countenance upon you and give you grace. May the Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace.

(2) ויתחזק ישראל AND ISRAEL STRENGTHENED HIMSELF — he said, “Although he is my son, he is a king, and I will do honour to him” (Midrash Tanchuma, Bo 6).

(1) בָּזֶה IN THIS PLACE (literally, by this, or by means of this) — He showed him the contract of betrothal and the contract of marriage (evidence that their mother had adopted the faith of Israel, and that his and her offspring were of their faith) and Joseph prayed to God about the matter and the Holy Spirit again rested upon him (Jacob) (Midrash Tanchuma, Vayechi 6).

Now, your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt shall be mine; - That were born to you, since at that moment I (Jacob) did not know if I would see you again, nevertheless, they are mine, another explanation; Jacob said "they are mine" and not yours since he requested that Ephraim and Menashe should inherit from him and not Joseph, since only the remainder/additional children of Joseph which are "But progeny born to you after them" shall inherit from Joseph. Therefore it is written "they shall be recorded under the name. of their brothers in their inheritance." meaning that they shall inherit (from Joseph in place of Ephraim and Menasheh) similar to Deuterononomy (25:6) "Now it shall be that the firstborn that she bears will be established under the name of his dead brother," which means that he inherits the inheritance of his brother as it is explained in the tractate of Yevamot.

This is why Jacob was quite precise when he said: שני בניך…לי הם, "your two sons…are really mine, just as Reuben and Shimon are mine." He wanted Joseph to understand that he did not look at his sons as his grandsons but as his real sons. It followed that Joseph could no more be part of the tribes than Jacob himself could be part of the tribes.

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And notice that Ephraim and Menashe that were born and grew up in Egypt before Jacob and his brothers came, nonetheless they were not assimilated, this was not the case with the children (born to Joseph) afterwards that were born after Jacob and his sons were already in Egypt, even still their male decendents were lost (assimilated). And those whe were born before Jacob arrived (Ephraim and Menashe) remained Israelites but those who were born after did not ??

But in truth this should not be surprising, since when Joseph was by himself in Egypt he worked hard to instill his values in the hearts of his children, sicne who else would do this? And he also felt lonely in Egypt as it is written (Genesis 41:52) "God has made me bear fruit in the land of my affliction" accordingly, also his children felt like strangers ....

In contrast to his (Joseph's) children born after Jacob and his sons came. Joseph no longer worked very hard in educating the rest of his children and he also felt the ease and the luxory of Egypt and the rest of his children felt similarly.

And Joseph lived in the Royal city far from his father and brothers and he was not regularly with his father and brothers which explains why it is written: "Your father is ill.”... And when Ephraim and Menashe were young and Jacob was far away, it was circumstantial, but after Jacob came down to Egypt and the rest of Joseph's children were young, they were distant from their elders with the concent/desire of their father (Joseph), accordingly they were not connected to him.

(1) גם בני מכיר בן מנשה, “also the sons of Machir, a son of Menashe;” the word גם is meant to include Ephrayim and his children in what is described in this verse. How are we to understand this in practice?

Joseph only saw Ephrayim’s grandchildren, whereas he did live to see Menashe’s great grandchildren.

We know this from which of the descendants of Joseph are listed in the portion of Pinchas (Numbers 26,2937) there as founders of בתי אבות, clans, all of whom were born during Joseph’s life time. (Bamidbar Rabbah 14,7)

(1) וירא יוסף לאפרים בני שלשים, ..The word גם in the line גם בני מכיר בן מנשה indicate that Menashe also lived in Joseph’s home; however, seeing that Joseph loved Menashe better than Ephrayim, the Torah mentions the fact that Menashe’s grandchildren were born on Joseph’s knees rather than those of Ephrayim.
The מכיר named here was actually Gilead, son of Machir, son of Menashe. He was the grandfather of Tzelofchod (Numbers 27,1). The Torah wanted to show that Joseph raised righteous people in his own home, people who in turn produced daughters of outstanding caliber such as the daughters of Tzelofchod.

Grandchildren are sometimes called the third generation, since they are the third generation if you start to count from the father as it is written in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 25:5)

for I, YHWH your God,
am a zealous God,
calling-to-account the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons, to the third and the fourth [generation] of those hating me," and sometimes "the third generation" is great grandchilden such as in the Thirteen attributes: (Exodus 34:7)

keeping loyalty to the thousandth [generation],
bearing iniquity, rebellion and sin,
yet not clearing, clearing [the guilty],
calling-to-account the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons and upon sons’ sons, to the third and fourth [generation]!

(5) May the LORD bless you from Zion;
may you share the prosperity of Jerusalem
all the days of your life, (6) and live to see your children’s children.
May all be well with Israel!

(3) However, our sages (Berachot 7) have already explained how to reconcile what is written in these verses. The verse threatening that the sins of the fathers will be visited upon their sons or later generations presumes that the sons or grandsons will continue in the evil path their parents had walked before them. When this is the case G’d will not feel unjustified in applying His retribution to the sons or grandsons of the original sinners.

The reason that the Torah limits such retribution to four generations after the original sin has been committed is explained in Job 42,17 where the blessing Job received is that he lived to see the fourth generation of his descendants. The Torah (Genesis 50,23) also reports that Joseph was blessed to see the fourth generation of his offspring. In other words, biological relationships are presumed to be meaningful up to and including the fourth generation, not beyond that. Seeing that a person may live to see his great-great grandchildren, their death may remind him of his being punished for his original sin.

If the fifth generation were to be punished for that sin it would have absolutely no impact on the original sinner. When in a patriarchal society the senior member of the family is concerned about his offspring, he does not include in such concern the fifth and subsequent generations. If a wicked person has observed that his father, his grandfather and his great-grandfather had been guilty of similar sins and had not been punished to the best of his knowledge, it is important that he be punished and that he bear the collective responsibility