This week's parshah contains 74 unique mitzvot (12% of all the mitzvot in the Torah). Each has spawned millennia-long conversations. We will focus on just the first one, following a longstanding tradition of beginning the study of a parshah with the opening verse or related selection of verses.
(י) כִּֽי־תֵצֵ֥א לַמִּלְחָמָ֖ה עַל־אֹיְבֶ֑יךָ וּנְתָנ֞וֹ יהוה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ בְּיָדֶ֖ךָ וְשָׁבִ֥יתָ שִׁבְיֽוֹ׃ (יא) וְרָאִ֙יתָ֙ בַּשִּׁבְיָ֔ה אֵ֖שֶׁת יְפַת־תֹּ֑אַר וְחָשַׁקְתָּ֣ בָ֔הּ וְלָקַחְתָּ֥ לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃ (יב) וַהֲבֵאתָ֖הּ אֶל־תּ֣וֹךְ בֵּיתֶ֑ךָ וְגִלְּחָה֙ אֶת־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וְעָשְׂתָ֖ה אֶת־צִפׇּרְנֶֽיהָ׃ (יג) וְהֵסִ֩ירָה֩ אֶת־שִׂמְלַ֨ת שִׁבְיָ֜הּ מֵעָלֶ֗יהָ וְיָֽשְׁבָה֙ בְּבֵיתֶ֔ךָ וּבָ֥כְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ יֶ֣רַח יָמִ֑ים וְאַ֨חַר כֵּ֜ן תָּב֤וֹא אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ וּבְעַלְתָּ֔הּ וְהָיְתָ֥ה לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃ (יד) וְהָיָ֞ה אִם־לֹ֧א חָפַ֣צְתָּ בָּ֗הּ וְשִׁלַּחְתָּהּ֙ לְנַפְשָׁ֔הּ וּמָכֹ֥ר לֹא־תִמְכְּרֶ֖נָּה בַּכָּ֑סֶף לֹא־תִתְעַמֵּ֣ר בָּ֔הּ תַּ֖חַת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עִנִּיתָֽהּ׃ {ס}
(10) When you [an Israelite warrior] take the field against your enemies, and your God יהוה delivers them into your power and you take some of them captive, (11) and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her and would take her [into your household] as your wife, (12) you shall bring her into your household, and she shall trim her hair, pare her nails, (13) and discard her captive’s garb. She shall spend a month’s time in your household lamenting her father and mother; after that you may come to her and thus become her husband, and she shall be your wife. (14) Then, should you no longer want her, you must release her outright. You must not sell her for money: since you had your will of her, you must not enslave her.
(א)אשת. אֲפִלּוּ אֵשֶׁת אִישׁ: (ב)ולקחת לך לאשה. לֹא דִּבְּרָה תוֹרָה אֶלָּא כְּנֶגֶד יֵצֶר הָרַע, שֶׁאִם אֵין הַקָּבָּ"ה מַתִּירָהּ יִשָּׂאֶנָּה בְאִסּוּר, אֲבָל אִם נְשָׂאָהּ סוֹפוֹ לִהְיוֹת שׂוֹנְאָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר אַחֲרָיו "כִּי תִהְיֶיןָ לְאִישׁ וְגוֹ'", וְסוֹפוֹ לְהוֹלִיד מִמֶּנָּה בֵּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה, לְכָךְ נִסְמְכוּ פָּרָשִׁיּוֹת הַלָּלוּ (תנחומא):
(1) אשת [AND THOU SEEST AMONG THE CAPTIVES] A WOMAN — even if she be a married woman (Sifrei Devarim 211:7; Kiddushin 21b). (2) ולקחת לך לאשה [AND THOU DELIGHTEST IN HER,] THAT THOU WOULDEST TAKE HER FOR THY WIFE) — Scripture is speaking (makes this concession) only in view of man’s evil inclination (his carnal desires) (Kiddushin 21b). For if the Holy Blessed One would not permit her to him as a wife, he would nevertheless marry her although she would then be forbidden to him. However, if he does marry her, in the end he will hate her, for Scripture writes immediately afterwards, (v. 15) “If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, etc.” and ultimately he will beget a refractory and rebellious son by her (v. 18). It is for this reason that these sections are put in juxtaposition (Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 1).
(א)והבאתה אל תוך ביתך וגלחה. י״א שמא בעבור שערה חשק בה על כן תגלח: (ב)ועשתה. תגדל כדי להיותה מאוסה בעיניו:
(1) THEN THOU SHALT BRING HER HOME TO THY HOUSE; AND SHE SHALL SHAVE HER HEAD. Some say that she shaves her head as he may have desired her because of her hair. (2) PARE. Ve-asetah et tzipparneha (and pare her nails) means she shall let her nails grow long so that she will appear disgusting in his eyes.
(א) ובכתה את אביה ואת אמה. שתעזבם ותתישב בזה בדעתה שלא לחשוב בם עוד כענין ושכחי עמך ובית אביך ואין הבכי על מיתתם כי אנחנו לא נמית אותם כלל:
(1) ובכתה את אביה ואת אמה, to get her father and mother out of her system and reconciling herself to the fact that henceforth she would live in the Land of Israel, have no more contact with her parents. (whether they are dead or alive) Similar wording occurs in Psalms 45,11 שכחי עמך, the psalmist urging the Jewish people, compared to a princess, to forget their former environment and associates as she had been promoted to a loftier position. The weeping mentioned in our verse has nothing to do with the death of her parents for we do not kill mothers altogether.
(א)והיה אם לא חפצת בה. הַכָּתוּב מְבַשֶּׂרְךָ שֶׁסּוֹפְךָ לִשְׂנֹאתָהּ (שם):
(1) והיה אם לא חפצת בה AND IT SHALL BE, IF THOU ART NOT PLEASED WITH HER — Scripture foretells that you will in the end hate her (Sifrei Devarim 214:1).
(א) חֲלוּצֵי צָבָא כְּשֶׁיִּכָּנְסוּ בִּגְבוּל הָעַכּוּ"ם וְיִכְבְּשׁוּם וְיִשְׁבּוּ מֵהֶן. מֻתָּר לָהֶן לֶאֱכל נְבֵלוֹת וּטְרֵפוֹת וּבְשַׂר חֲזִיר וְכַיּוֹצֵא בּוֹ אִם יִרְעַב וְלֹא מָצָא מַה יֹּאכַל אֶלָּא מַאֲכָלוֹת אֵלּוּ הָאֲסוּרִים. וְכֵן שׁוֹתֶה יֵין נֶסֶךְ. מִפִּי הַשְּׁמוּעָה לָמְדוּ וּבָתִּים מְלֵאִים כָּל טוּב עָרְפֵּי חֲזִירִים וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן:
(ב) וְכֵן בּוֹעֵל אִשָּׁה בְּגֵיוּתָהּ אִם תְּקָפוֹ יִצְרוֹ. אֲבָל לֹא יִבְעָלֶנָּה וְיֵלֵךְ לוֹ. אֶלָּא מַכְנִיסָהּ לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים כא, יא) "וְרָאִיתָ בַּשִּׁבְיָה אֵשֶׁת יְפַת תֹּאַר". וְאָסוּר לִבְעל אוֹתָהּ בִּיאָה שְׁנִיָּה עַד שֶׁיִּשָּׂאֶנָּה:
(ב) וְכֵן בּוֹעֵל אִשָּׁה בְּגֵיוּתָהּ אִם תְּקָפוֹ יִצְרוֹ. אֲבָל לֹא יִבְעָלֶנָּה וְיֵלֵךְ לוֹ. אֶלָּא מַכְנִיסָהּ לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים כא, יא) "וְרָאִיתָ בַּשִּׁבְיָה אֵשֶׁת יְפַת תֹּאַר". וְאָסוּר לִבְעל אוֹתָהּ בִּיאָה שְׁנִיָּה עַד שֶׁיִּשָּׂאֶנָּה:
(1) When the army's troops enter the territory of gentiles, conquering them and taking them captive, they are permitted to eat meat from animals that died without being ritually slaughtered or which were trefe, and the flesh of pigs and similar animals, if they become hungry and can only find these forbidden foods. Similarly, they may drink wine used in the worship of idols. This license is derived by the Oral Tradition which interprets Deuteronomy 6:10-11: 'God... will give you... houses filled with all the good things' as 'pigs' necks and the like.'
(2) Similarly, a soldier may engage in sexual relations with a woman while she is still a gentile if his natural inclination overcomes him. However, he may not engage in sexual relations with her and then, go on his way. Rather, he must bring her into his home as Deuteronomy 21:11 states 'If you see a beautiful woman among the prisoners...You shall bring her into the midst of your home...' It is forbidden for him to engage in sexual relations with her a second time until he marries her.
(2) Similarly, a soldier may engage in sexual relations with a woman while she is still a gentile if his natural inclination overcomes him. However, he may not engage in sexual relations with her and then, go on his way. Rather, he must bring her into his home as Deuteronomy 21:11 states 'If you see a beautiful woman among the prisoners...You shall bring her into the midst of your home...' It is forbidden for him to engage in sexual relations with her a second time until he marries her.
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein ZT"L (1933-2015):
"It is further impossible to give in advance a precise, universal prescription for each and every case. But it is exceedingly vital that he who goes to war knows that he is not passing from a world with one order of values to a world governed by a different order of values. One man, and one nation, cannot be split in two. And so in every situation, at the acme of the heirarchy of values must be peace.
Rabbi Shefa Gold (1954-) on Ki Teitze[i]
from: https://www.rabbishefagold.com/ki-tetze/
from: https://www.rabbishefagold.com/ki-tetze/
THE FIRST TEST of Ki Te[i]tze[i] comes not from losing the battle, but from winning it. The very first commandment of Ki Te[i]tze[i] warns us that when we win that battle and bring away the spoils of war, we will try to acquire the beautiful woman who has become our captive. We will want to own her. And when the lust and delight for new acquisition has waned we may be tempted to sell her.
The commandment of Ki Te[i]tze[i] replaces the subjugation and acquisition of the captive woman with the requirement to establish a binding relationship with her, to know her as “Thou” rather than use her as “It.” To know our captive “Thou,” we are commanded to take her into our home, and let her be stripped of all the outer trappings of seduction. Her hair and nails are cut, the clothes of captivity are put aside, and she must be given a month to set her own heart in order.
Only after witnessing the simplified essence and subjective reality of our captive bride may we “come in to her” and live in sanctified relationship.
The commandment of Ki Te[i]tze[i] replaces the subjugation and acquisition of the captive woman with the requirement to establish a binding relationship with her, to know her as “Thou” rather than use her as “It.” To know our captive “Thou,” we are commanded to take her into our home, and let her be stripped of all the outer trappings of seduction. Her hair and nails are cut, the clothes of captivity are put aside, and she must be given a month to set her own heart in order.
Only after witnessing the simplified essence and subjective reality of our captive bride may we “come in to her” and live in sanctified relationship.
Rabbi Dr. Bonna Devorah Haberman z"l (1960-2015):
The Torah often treats women and our sexuality as a man's possession and offends women's personal autonomy, will and dignity. Such texts evoke very difficult emotions. Passages in our parshat Ki Tetzei provoke, exasperate, make us cringe, feel frustrated and furious, excluded, embarrassed, defensive, wounded and alienated. Often, Jewish leaders and educators skip over, euphemize, apologize for, justify or historicize such texts. There are familiar arguments - what seems to us backward and repressive in our day was enlightened in its time, relative to other cultures. However true that may be, there is no point to claiming that we can smooth away and reconcile ourselves with such difficult passages as we find in our parsha. From the perspective of taking the Torah seriously in relation to our own lives today, as we do in so many other parashot, there is no possibility for us to accept the way that our text relates to women as it is. Allowing such a Torah reading to pass without comment or action causes personal and collective damage - to women, to our communities and to the Jewish People.
The Torah often treats women and our sexuality as a man's possession and offends women's personal autonomy, will and dignity. Such texts evoke very difficult emotions. Passages in our parshat Ki Tetzei provoke, exasperate, make us cringe, feel frustrated and furious, excluded, embarrassed, defensive, wounded and alienated. Often, Jewish leaders and educators skip over, euphemize, apologize for, justify or historicize such texts. There are familiar arguments - what seems to us backward and repressive in our day was enlightened in its time, relative to other cultures. However true that may be, there is no point to claiming that we can smooth away and reconcile ourselves with such difficult passages as we find in our parsha. From the perspective of taking the Torah seriously in relation to our own lives today, as we do in so many other parashot, there is no possibility for us to accept the way that our text relates to women as it is. Allowing such a Torah reading to pass without comment or action causes personal and collective damage - to women, to our communities and to the Jewish People.
פֵּרוּשׁ: כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶיךָ – שֶׁהוּא הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע.
This is the explanation: Should you go out to battle against your enemies—This being the Evil Inclination,